It's Time

Six months and six figures later I was clobbered with the sudden awareness today that we're a few days away from creating life!   After many months of trying not to think about July, in order to avoid the restlessness of anticipation, we are now living ten days into July.   The exact moment on the calendar I've been trying to avoid thinking about no longer can be avoided.  The question I have been asking myself this afternoon, can I ease into this moment without walls around my emotions?  Is it time to be giddy about baby making?  I'm scared.  I'm excited.  I'm nervous.  I'm impatient.  It's a complicated web of emotions covering my individual self at the moment.

I could hardly focus this afternoon after reading the email update from our agency coordinator;  the anonymous egg donor is flying to the clinic tomorrow.  Tomorrow.  The anonymous egg donor will be checked daily until our doctor finds the ideal time for him to perform the egg retrieval.   The moment the eggs are retrieved they will be fertilized.  Hopefully they'll all grow into healthy embryos that will be transferred into the loving womb of our surrogate as early as Tuesday, July 21.

That date, July 21, also happens to be the day in 1980 my 24 year old mother gave birth to her gayest son!  What a gift it will be to transfer embryos on my birthday or during my birthday week.

It's time.  This is starting to feel tangible.  And away we go!