She Misses Her Daddy

When my husband was packing his large suitcase for a ten day trip our baby girl, Dooley, laid next to the suitcase.  (I wanted to lay in the suitcase.)  She loves her daddy.  I have to make sure I play rough with Dooley when my husband is away, because she loves it when her daddy antagonizes her.  She barks, growls, and attacks his hands and feet for fun.  It's their game.  It always ends with her on her back getting a belly rub.  My husband is amazing with the dogs.  I have to try to be amazing when he's gone.

Rhode Island

Last week the Rhode Island Senate voted 26-12 to approve marriage equality, guaranteeing that The Ocean State will be the 10th state to allow same-sex couples to legally marry.

Thank you Rhode Island.

If SCOTUS strikes down DOMA this summer, then the husband and I will have to jump on an air plane to go get legally married in one of these ten states! Maybe we should make it Rhode Island?!

Dolphins

Last week my husband sent me a sudden notification after he learned that Carolina accidentally broke the tray in our living room: "This doesn't mean you need to go buy something new."

Hmm.

That was my plan: to go buy something new.

Since I couldn't buy something new I looked around my house and I found these two hand blow glass dolphins that were tucked away in the sideboard.  One was a gift from my parents.  One was a gift to myself.  I've always thought they were interesting, but I never had a nice place for them.  Now they are in the middle of the living room.

"Start where you are.  Use what you have. Do what you can."

Done.

Maybe I should go shopping to celebrate?

Fajitas for Twelve

My husband and I had a grilled fajita dinner the other night.  It was delicious; this lovely weather gets my husband in the mood to grill.  Lucky me.  When my husband was bringing the meat to the table, he said: "here's our fajitas for twelve."  It made me laugh.  We always seem to over cook, bake, grill.  It's why we need babies...so we can have more mouths at the dinner table.

The good thing is that we'll enjoy leftovers this week.

QOTD

"I can vote because I'm human, not because I'm male.  I can go to school because I'm human, not because I'm white.  One day, I want to get married, because I'm human, not because I'm straight."

-The guy holding the sign.  (Thanks man!)

6832 Westlake Avenue

We were exploring more of our neighborhood on this beautiful Sunday afternoon.  We stopped in a few open houses and one estate sale.  (You know how estate sales affect me.) During our exploration I noticed an almost 6,000 square foot one-story 1959 house on an inconceivable 1.4 acres in the heart of Lakewood was for sale.  When I got home I pulled up the listing, and I'm glad I did!  Look at these photos.  It's like time hadn't touched this house.  I wish I had an extra $2.5M and I would buy it with all its furniture and curtains and have fabulous themed parties all summer long!  How fabulous is this house?  According to the listing it's the first time this beauty has been on the open market.  These people must have been high styled individuals in 1969.  They built a house ready for a crowd.

What if my husband and I had enough cash to build our dream house, would we live in it for the rest of our lives?  Also, aren't you curious why the family never felt the social pressure to update the house?  I love it.  I hope someone special buys it...and invites me over for parties!

Families and Flowers

This morning I've been sitting in front of my television engrossed in the updates from the Boston Marathon bombing situation.  One suspect is dead.  One on the run.  Boston is locked down.  "Shelter in place."  It makes me sad that two brothers would do such horrible things.  Why?

I also just learned that at least 15 people are dead from the West, Texas fertilizer plant explosion.  The day of the explosion happened started off as a normal day, but it ended up being the day of this terrible accident...and at least 15 people are dead.  This is a terrible reminder that death can happen at any moment.

To get me focused on something happy I've posted these two photos.  First is NPH & David Burtka with their children.  How cute is this photo?  The second photo is an iris that grows in my husband's mother's garden.  How beautiful is this iris?

I guess the only thing we have is this moment.  We should enjoy our families (and pictures of beautiful celebrity families) and the flowers that bloom in our gardens (or our husband's mother's garden).

Happy Friday.  It's a glorious (gay) day.

Save the Pretty Things

Our friend Carolina accidentally broke this platter when she was cleaning yesterday.  Accidents happen.  I consider it a sacrifice to please the cleaning gods.   However, it reminded me of one thing our friend Del stated: "you did not think this through."  Our friend Del, who's a father of two girls, thinks our house is no where close to being child proof.  If an adult can accidentally break something, what do you think my future five sons will do?  Maybe I can talk my husband into buying the neighbors house?  We could have one childproof house?

Sending Love

My household is sending love to Boston today.  It's a dreadful moment.  One moment they are running the Boston Marathon and the next moment a bomb explodes.  And then a second bomb explodes.  It's life and death moments like this that make it seem so incredible stupid that we (the living) are wasting moments fighting over marriage equality.

Life is short.  Life can change in a dreadful moment.  Why are we fighting for equality?  We have better things to do with our moments in life.  Why is anyone against marriage equality?

Sending love.

QOTD

“And it's a life with no shortage of moments to recommend it, a life that picks up speed like a boulder rolling down a hill, easy and natural and comfortable, and yet beyond control somehow; it all happens so fast, you wake a young man and at lunch are middle-aged and by dinner you can imagine your death.”

From Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter (My mother's favorite book she's read this year.)

Not Another One

When he was President, George W. Bush supported a federal marriage amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America, which would define marriage as unions between one man and one woman.

That was hurtful.  President Bush was sending a message that gay Americans were not equal to straight Americans.  I will not forgive him.  Unfortunately, his Presidential library is in our backyard, and every time they send out fliers asking us for donations I roll my eyes.  Ridiculous.  I wish he'd just disappear from my life, because every time I see his picture I'm reminded of his hurtful actions.

Until he marches in a gay pride parade carrying a sign that says: "I was wrong.  I'm sorry.  Of course you should have the freedom to marry the person you love...this IS the U.S.A." I'm not sending him a penny.

Lazy Sunday

This was the first Saturday in a few months where I did not go into the office.  I did not work.  I was exhausted.  I slept for years this weekend.  Nothing was wrong with me.  I was just tired.  This morning when I finally did wake up I started frying bacon and sipping black coffee.  Frying bacon always reminds me of childhood weekends at my grandparents' cabin.  The only time I saw my grandfather in the kitchen was at the cabin when he was frying bacon and making breakfast gravy.  Frying bacon and sipping my coffee is a great way to start a morning.

After my body was full of food and coffee, my husband and I took Trigger on a walk.  I did yard work.  He studied.  I took a bubble bath.  He studied.  We went to yoga.  I did laundry.  He studied. We ate dinner.

It was a plain old ordinary lazy Sunday in our house.  Those are the best kinds of Sundays.

Proof!  Gay people are just like you.

Missing Dixie

The Dixie Chicks are one of my all-time favorite musicians.  One of my most prized wedding gifts is a personalized autograph Dixie Chicks poster.  It was a gift from our wedding photographer Kim Maguire.  As a super fan it's a challenge when your favorite group takes a long break.  You have to read this Texas Monthly article: Chicks in the Wilderness.

I'm hopeful the Chicks will make more music.  If you have a talent (they have enormous talent) and do not use your talent, then it's like the talent doesn't exist at all.  Natalie, Martie, Emily: if you don't make music again, then you're just like me (your tone deaf super fan)!  It's a lesson for all of us: you have to use your talents!  Don't stop the music.

I will continue to listen to my Dixie Chicks playlist while I'm waiting for new music and hoping the Chicks are alright.

Money Money Money

I'm glad my husband and I have good jobs.  This week my computer died, which in 2013 a computer is a necessity.  We are in the process of replacing it.  Also this week our garage door springs broke.  (I had no idea a garage door had springs; my husband thought it was funny that I thought the garage-door-opener opened the garage without help.)  It wasn't cheap to replace the garage door springs!  We've had an expensive week.  Again, I'm glad we have good jobs, but I was thinking: what do people do that live paycheck to paycheck?

We have two thousand less dollars to go into the baby fund this week.

Babies!

Yesterday my husband and I finally met Adam and Eddie's twin sons.  They are almost three months old and they are perfect!  I held one of the babies at all times.  It was wonderful.  We took dinner to the loving fathers, and we talked about the surrogacy process.

When we got home my husband ran the numbers to figure out when we'd have enough cash for babies.

I'm ready.

The Future

Burrrr.  A rainy cold snap hit Dallas yesterday.  When I got home from work the house was chilly, and I could not figure out how to switch the thermostat from AC to Heat.  I called my husband who's in Manhattan on business.  He adjusted our Dallas, Texas thermostat remotely from NYC.  I still do not know how to adjust the thermostat, but the house warmed up within minutes, and as long as my husband is a phone call away he can handle it.

Just to recap my life: we have the ability to control the house thermostat anywhere in the world from an iPad, but we don't have the ability to marry the person we love.  

Why is my thermostat in my house more sophisticated than our society?  I need society to catch up.

A Little Too Jolly

I'm a financial consultant.  I make my clients' problems go away.  My clients are always in a disaster situation before they engage my firm.  As a result, one of the key items I'm always pushing is for my clients to hire new talent.   Since we're not a long-term solution, it's important that my clients hire the right people to take over before our job is done.   Everyone at my firm knows I'm a happily married gay man.  My clients rarely know that I'm a happily married gay man- I don't chit-chat with my clients.

Last week the Director of Financial reporting interviewed several professionals, and he made a comment to me: "I like the last guy, but he's a little too jolly for me.  I don't know if I can work with that every day."

Did you catch that?  "A little too jolly" is code for "gay."  I was paralyzed by that statement.   I didn't know what to say, because I was so caught off guard.  I never know how to handle these situations.  I could disempower my client with a few statements, but is that what's best for the situation?  Again, I didn't know what to do...and I don't have a wise gay mentor to consult.  

I just moved the conversation on.

Love and Marriage

These last few weeks marriage equality has been in our daily narrative.  What if in June the SCOTUS strikes down DOMA?  What if I finally have the right to marry the person I love?  It's a thrilling time in the gayborhood.

My marriage doesn't have to look like your marriage.  My marriage is MY marriage.  In the end the only thing that matters are the relationships you have with the ones you love.  Nothing else matters.  If we focus on love, compassion, kindness, and equality, then I think it's easy to see the silliness of DOMA.

And for those who don't want to repeal DOMA: remind me how my marriage affects your marriage?

Easter 2013

We had a lovely few hours with our family and friends at Easter lunch on Sunday.  Thanks to help from the parents it was successful event.  Our kitchen is the smallest room in our house (hooray for 1980's design) but we create big meals from our small kitchen.  The only casualty was the mac and cheese - I burned it on the sides!

Easter 2013 Menu

• Beef tenderloin (grilled to perfection by my husband and his father)
• BBQ chicken (for those of us who like chicken best!)
• Mashed Yukon Gold potatoes
• Mushrooms cooked in red wine, soy sauce, and butter
• Roasted butternut squash
• Tomatoes, mozzarella, basil leaves, with pesto and balsamic
• Broccoli Crunch
• Curried noodle salad
• Hatch chile corn pudding
• cornbread
• Mac & cheese (very well done!)
• Strawberry pretzel salad (my mom)
• Watermelon blueberry salad (my mom)
• Cornbread salad (husband's mom)
• Cheese cake (husband's mom)
• Strawberry cake (my mom)
• Peanut butter pie (my mom)