QOTD

"Well, I believe in "human rights" and the Scripture, "Judge not, lest ya be judged." I have many gay friends who I love dearly.

-Dolly Parton

Easter is Early

Easter is too early this year.  My yard is not green.  We have 22 people coming to our house for Easter lunch on Sunday.  We are thrilled to have a house full of friends and family.  We've cooked many big meals in our very little kitchen, but I think 22 might be a new record.  In preparation, we're stacking furniture to make room for additional tables.

I really appreciate the times in the year when we all make it a priority to be together.

Open Letter

Dear Trigger,

Please stop chewing holes in my underwear.

Sincerely,

Me.

Facebook Turns Red for Marriage Equality

I have to hide my eyes.  I can't watch.  I have too much personally invested, yet I have absolutely no control over the results.  I can hardly read or listen or watch any news about today's SCOTUS hearing. This is personal.

Today, I was slammed at the office.  It was easy to hide my eyes.  I got home late.  My friend Del told me to check out Facebook.   I logged onto my husband's account and I was overwhelmed at the number of friends and family members that changed their profile picture: Facebook Turns Red as SCOTUS Marriage Equality Hearings Begin.

Minorities are limited by the inequalities of society.  It's nice to see members of the majority publicly speak out on our behalf.   Gay citizens can only achieve equal rights in USA with advocacy from straight citizens.  I am extremely grateful for anyone that changed their profile picture red today.  It give me hope.  It gives me joy.  It touches the essences of my being.

Thank  you straight people!

Poppins Again

I first saw Disney's Mary Poppins the musical in 2009 to celebrate the birth of my husband's mother.  This week  Jim's wife was out of town on business, which means Jim had an extra season ticket to the show.  I snuck out of work "early" and Jim, Steve, Jeff, and I went to see Mary Poppins.  I don't think Jim was really in to the show, but he was a good sport.  And, of course I purchased another parrot head umbrella...which Jim and Steve and Jeff thought was hilarious...maybe even a little strange...

Clearly they didn't spend childhood hours trying to create a parrot head umbrella.  I did.  My childhood goal of owning a parrot headed umbrella is now realized, twice over!

In 2009, Mary Poppins flew over the audience at the end of the show, but in this show she stayed on stage.  Her flying over the audience was my favorite part!

QOTD

"That’s what’s truly remarkable about this juncture: the aura of inevitability that hovers over it. In an astonishingly brief period of time, this country has experienced a seismic shift in opinion — a profound social and political revolution — when it comes to gay and lesbian people. And it’s worth pausing, on the cusp of the court hearings, to take note of this change and to mull what’s behind it."

- Frank Bruni (The New York Times)

This is a real photo from our wedding in Austin, Texas on May 13, 2006.  We were surrounded by a very sacred group of family and friends- 120 beloved individuals; in 2006 it felt like we were making the boldest of moves by having a wedding with two grooms and no bride.  We had an open bar before the wedding in hopes of relaxing the crowd.  It really was the first for almost all in attendance.  Our wedding was magical, because our guests were making a statement too.  They were creating a force field of protection with their presence; for those six hours it didn't matter what the world said about homosexuals...for those six hours only joy, appreciation, and love existed in our world.  Today, almost seven years later, the world has changed for the better.   It amazes me.

The New York Times article where I pulled the above QOTD points out the speed at which the country has shifted from anti-gay rights to pro-gay rights.  It gives me great hope that someday soon our country will recognize the commitment my husband and I made to each other almost seven years ago.

Lost in Translation

The newest associates on my team is from Kenya, Africa.   He lives in the United States with his wife and two children.  Yesterday in the war room my team was asking about my husband; the new associate was confused and I had to explain I had a husband not a wife...

Me: "I have a husband not a wife."
Him: "You're married to a man?"
Me: "Yes."
Him: "Who's the wife?"
Me: "I don't have a wife.  I have a husband."
Him: "Yes, but who's the wife?"
Me: "There is not wife in my marriage.  We're two men."
Him: "I know, but who does all the house work?"

My whole team started laughing at his last question.

Hillary Supports Marriage for ALL

I was very pleased to learn that former First Lady, former US Senator, former Secretary of State, and possible future President, Hillary Clinton, came out in support of marriage for all.  (Source!)

Thank you Hillary.

If you support marriage for all, then I hope you'll speak up too.  Your voice is important to your friends, neighbors, colleagues, and your family.  Speak up for equality.

Paxten is Three (Already?)

Our youngest niece is turning three years old later this week.  Unfortunately, for me, I had to work through Paxten's birthday party this weekend.  I missed watching her have fun with her friends.  (Paxten, your uncles love you so very much, and we're sorry we didn't get to attend.)

I recently learned that Paxten was overheard correctly using the word: "Dammit."  Her remote control car was stuck and she couldn't get it unstuck after many determined attempts.  As a result, my almost three year old niece threw the remote and yelled "Dammit."

How do you not laugh in this situation?  I think it's impossible to be a responsible parent at times, but my brother and his wife always seem to be able to parent during the laughable moments too.

QOTD

"Public support for gay marriage has hit a new high as Americans increasingly see homosexuality not as a choice but as a way some people are, according to a newWashington Post-ABC News poll." (Source!)

Hopefully this means sometime soon I will get the right to marry the person I love; just like my brother had the right to marry the person he loves.  Gay Americans are not asking for special rights; they want equal rights.  Why in 2013 is this even a debate?

Least-Gay Gay Guy

"That's the least-gay gay guy I've ever met" is what one person recently said about my husband after meeting him for the first time.

I accept statements in the spirit in which they are given, and this guy was intending to make a joke and perhaps even compliment my husband.  I will admit it was an amusing statement.

However, when you're gay being told you're not very gay is incorrect and impolite.  Right?  What  this person is really saying is that my husband is not a stereotypical gay guy.   What this person is really saying is that my husband didn't fit into this person's idea of what it means to be gay.  I say it on this blog all the time: gay men aren't only Speedo wearing go-go boys or super rich power couples.  Some gay men live quiet lives in a more familiar zone of work, mortgage payments, and family dinners.

I love my gay husband...and I hope to one day have the right to legally marry him.

Peaceful Moment

Dooley is pleased Del purchased a second pillow.  She found a nice quiet place to nap next to my husband.

We had a glorious Sunday.  My parents hosted a belated birthday lunch in honor of my husband.  My father cooked his speciality, sweet and sour chicken, and my mother made her famous home made ice cream for dessert.  My grandfather and Aunt Charlotte joined us.   The meal was delicious and the weather was beautiful.

After lunch my parents and my husband and I drove out to my parents' land.  It was so peaceful.  Early spring days in Texas are the best.  It was cool and sunny.   We only stayed a moment, because we had to get back to Dallas to get ready for the beastly week that awaits.  But we enjoyed the peaceful moment together.

As our nephew Owen would say: "This is fun; lock this in your brain!"

Everyone's Still Welcome

I first told you about it here, and then I told you a second time about it here.  Now, this is the third time I'm telling you...

I really appreciate these "Everyone's Welcome even straight people" Las Vegas print advertisements.  Finding these ads in my magazines makes me smile.  I still think my favorite is the first one.  Although, seeing the heteros taking a self portrait with a bad camera in the middle of a homo party is laughable too.

I can never get too much of straight people!  Everyone's Welcome!

First Fire

It's been a mild winter in Texas.  Last night we had the first fire of the season.  It wasn't exceptionally cold last night, but we wanted to have at least one fire this season.

My husband sat on one couch, working.  I sat on the other couch, working.  The fire was glowing and warm and from time to time we'd look up and chat.  It was nice.

Yellow

On Sunday afternoon my husband and I went to lunch with his parents and then we went to watch the final performance of the Uptown Players' production of Del Shores' Yellow.  As I've stated previously, Yellow makes for great theater.  The show stays with you.  My husband and I have talked about "what if" some plot aspects of the show happened to us in real life.  I hope Yellow comes to a city near year.  You must go see this show.

While we were at the theater we ran into my aunt Charlotte and my grandmother's best friend Mary Nella.  It was a treasured encounter.  Any time I'm around my grandmother's friends I think of her.  "What if" my grandmother hadn't had breast cancer?  Would she had attended this show with Charlotte and Mary Nella?  Nonetheless,  it was enjoyable to spend time with my husband, his parents, my aunt and my grandmother's BFF.

It's important to appreciate what we do have, right?  We have each other.  We're all still here.  I appreciate that!

I want to know...

...if the College of Cardinals will create a Harlem Shake video at the Papal conclave?

They should.

They definitely should.

Open Letter

Dear Day Light Savings Time,

Ain't nobody got time for that.  Please return the hour you've stolen.

Sincerely,

Me

Caught in a Loop

Do you know the circus music they play when 30 clowns are climbing out of a small car?  That music is becoming the soundtrack of my existence.

More often than not I'm running around like 30 clowns; I'm one man but my life is torpedoing in 30 different directions.  My husband was at a conference all last week and then on to his MBA program this weekend.  We didn't get to talk a lot this week because he was busy and I was busy.  I billed over 65 hours for work.

Finally on Saturday night, after nine days apart, I was going to pick him up at DFW airport at 9PM.

The weather was crazy yesterday.

I spent the early part of the evening hanging out at Beverly and Rob's house waiting for his flight to land.  I spent the later part of the night at the airport parking lot waiting for his flight to land. After hours of circling a stormy Dallas night his flight flew to Austin to refuel.  I drove home.  Without my husband.  I went to bed.  (Sigh.)  Without my husband.

I woke up at 4:00 AM when my husband was climbing into bed.  Finally.  The clown music stopped.  My 30 clowns were no longer running around.  I was clam.

I was calm with my exhausted husband sleeping next to me.  I need more of this.

QOTD

"Do you realize that when we say we want Equal Rights that it's more than marriage?  There are 1,138 rights that we are fighting for...So before you think I'm just fighting for marriage.  Think Again I want Human Rights!"

No Filter

I did something in yoga.  I overworked my lower back.  I have more knots in my lower back than a speedboat race!  No, wait: I have more knots in my lower back than at a boy scout convention.  (Thank you, I'll be here all week.)

I was twisting and turning and hanging all over our furniture trying to find a way to work out the knots.  My husband is gone.  He couldn't help.  I was wishing we had a hot tub.  Finally I went to get a massage.  I am the kind of guy that still likes to wear a t-shirt to the pool.  Somewhere deep down inside the fat kid of my youth lives; I see him in the mirror from time to time.  I am mostly shy, but  I lost my shyness because I needed relief.

I went to get a massage.

So I was laying face down in the nude getting a massage.  I told the guy about my pain and I focused him on my lower back.  He could feel the knots.  And then the stranger with his hands on my body said to me: "Wow, you've got a big beautiful ass."

Uh....

I didn't know what to say.  I tensed up.  That statement didn't relax me.  It made me self conscious. All the sudden I flashed back to my sophomore year in high school when the new Principal instituted a shirts-must-be-tucked-in dress code; I was worried about my big booty without the camouflage of an untucked shirt.  Would my peers make fun of me?

"Wow, you've got a big beautiful ass."

Awkward.

I'm pretty sure he meant it as a compliment.  So I tried to clear my mind.

In the end, the massage was extremely helpful.  He ironed out my lower back.

But it's knotted up again today.

Bad Dog

When my husband is gone Trigger gets to sleep in the bed with me.  (My husband has been gone a lot lately.)   Recently Dooley has decided that she wants to get in bed with us too.

For the second time someone peed in the bed right before bedtime.  This second time, unlike the first time, I can confirm that Trigger is the one marking our bed with his teetee.  WHY?! It's not like he emptied his bladder, it was just  a mark on our bed.  (Trigger, this is not your bed.  You can't mark it.  It's your daddies bed.  It's ours.  Not yours.  Repeat: ours/not yours!)

I can only project that Trigger is not happy with Dooley's addition.    I don't really know.  I do know that washing duvets and mattress pads is a lot of work.

Eastwood

"Hollywood icon Clint Eastwood has joined a large group of Republicans arguing for same-sex marriage in the US Supreme Court. Prominent conservatives and many of the largest US corporations now favor gay marriage as well."  (Christian Science Monitor)

One day it'll all seem a bit silly that we had to fight for equal rights. One day soon, I hope.

Republicans used the politics of fear to turn marriage equality into a wedge issue in so many previous elections.

Today it looks like many Republicans including Clint Eastwood are for the first time publicly pro-gay, pro-equality, pro-marriage for all!  It's moments like this that keep me energized with hope that my state and my nation will "one day" recognizing my marriage.

I have hope.

And just like Andy told Red in The Shawshank Redemption: "Remember, Red. Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

Yellow

My parents and I saw the Uptown Player's performance of Del Shores' Yellow.  We happily gave a standing ovation after the final moment in the show.  Yellow makes for a powerful and entertaining theater experience.  I first blogged about this show when we saw it in Los Angeles.

If you're in Dallas, then go see this show.  Hurry up because the show finishes its run on Sunday, March 10.  We're taking my husband's parents to the final show.

Get Your Nails Did

I kept my nieces on Saturday night.  The best ten bucks I've spent in a long time was when I took my nieces to the nail salon to get their itty bitty nails painted.  Presley picked out hot pink nail polish with silver glitter, and Paxten picked out hot pink nail polish with purple glitter.  My nieces were born to be girly girls, and I support that!

Relaxing

Looking at this photo from Architectural Digest relaxes my mind.  I don't know why.  It just does.  I like to look at the inside of beautiful homes.

Have a nice relaxing weekend.