Superman for the Day

I feel like Superman today.  I'm wrapping up a 9-month project with a private equity firm client.  Private equity firms never give out compliments.  If you don't perform they get rid of you.  If you do perform they don't get rid of you.  The business moves too fast to stop and compliment the outside consultant.  After all, I'm billing them by the hour!

Here's what the private equity guys said to the CFO who then told me...

"We've learned something in these past nine months.  From now on we're only hiring gay guys."

These past nine months I've felt like the only homo in the oilfields of western Oklahoma.  Now an entire company knows what it is like to work with a gay guy.  I think exposure to gay people helps expand individuals' minds.  It's obvious: we have more in common than not.

Now I hope my next client is in West Hollywood or Key West or San Francisco.  I need a break from representing an entire population.  Can someone else be the representative gay guy for a bit?

We Are Just Like You

To my newest readers I wanted to you to know:

My intention for this blog is to prove that two gay guys are equal to not less than straight people.  We're  two people that love each other building a life together.  It's unfortunate that in 2013 in Texas in the U.S.A. our love is not considered legitimate.  I use this platform to expose slices of our life- our normal gay life.  If you only know gayness through gay stereotypes: the disco boy, the wealthy power couples, the snarky gay best friend, then you see gayness as some alien life.  I'm shining a light on our path: we live in Texas, we work hard for our paychecks, we love our family and friends, we want a family of our own, etc.

Yes, our life would be easier if we moved to the west coast or east coast.  (I love taking vacations around gay friendly spots, because I can hold my husbands hand without unwanted attention.)  We're Texans, dammit.  This is our home too.  Our family lives here.  We're not going to leave.  We're going to stay put and hope Texas evolves...in our lifetime!

I will continue to write this blog until I can legally marry my husband in my state.

Slow Cooker

Our crock pot is used for queso, mostly.  In the winter, however, I like to load up the crock pot with vegetables and brisket and let it cook and fill the house with comforting fragrances.  Having the house filled with the smells of a home cooked meal is greatness.

QOTD

"It is now our generation’s task to carry on what those pioneers began. For our journey is not complete until our wives, our mothers, and daughters can earn a living equal to their efforts. Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law, for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well."

-President Obama

Sunday Lunch

I cooked Paula Deen's Chicken Pot Pie with Cheese Straw Crust today for Sunday lunch.  It was delicious.   I also served brisket toast for appetizer, because I was unsure if my new recipe would be well received.  We served the chicken pot pie with a mixed green salad.  It was a perfect Sunday lunch for my husband, our friend Del, and me.

Del asked if I was expecting more guests?!  Yes, we have a lot of leftovers.  I always do.  As a cook I'm more comfortable cooking for a crowd.  I can trace this skill back to the five years I worked my way through college as a caterer.   If I'm cooking, then I'm all-in!  I don't like small pot cooking, which is one of the reasons I want five sons.  I need a crowd to eat my food. 

Happy Sunday!

Almost Dead

Thursday night I thought I was going to be the first person in the history of the world to die in a Bikram Yoga class.  We must die of something, I know, but I wasn't thrilled about exiting this earth at only 32 years old.  I blame my near death experience on my mother's talented baking skills and my four friends from last weekend.

When you eat a whole pound cake and skip yoga so you can eat, eat, eat your way through Dallas with old friends it really wrecks your yoga practice.

Don't cry for me Argentina.  I've rallied.  I am going to yoga four days in a row to get me back on track.  When you get knocked down you have to get up again...

I have needs.

I panicked last week when I realized Design Within Reach was no longer stocking Bitossi Ceramics in Rimini Blu.  I grabbed my credit card and quickly purchased two planters.  I love this stuff.  I have two vases from my parents and one bowl that was originally on deck to give to my mother, but I gifted it to myself instead.  Oopsie.

Frequently my husband encourages me to stop buying stuff.  "Do you NEED it?" is the question he likes to ask me.  The word "need" is always overly emphasized when he asks me too.  "Where is this item located on the budget?" is another question he likes to ask.  "Stop buying stuff!" is his favorite line.

The two planters, that I needed, arrived broken.  Design Within Reach apologized, and fully refunded the amount on our credit card.  Since they were sold out and no longer carrying the Bitossi Ceramics in Rimini Blu this was the only option.

My husband couldn't be happier.  He thinks god might be on his side.  I think god is cruel.

Cake is Love

My mother tried a new pound cake recipe, which she received from a former student on Facebook.  She baked the cake, and then sent it home with me.  Cake is love.  It's delicious.  It's too good to share with people that aren't passionate about pound cake!  I wonder how many yoga classes I will have to take to offset eating an entire pound cake?  Do you only gain a pound of fat from eating an entire pound cake?

Thank you mom.  I love you.

QOTD

"It's ludicrous that my friends in California aren't able to legally get married.  It's a civil rights issue.  In 20 years we're going to look back at tapes of these anti-gay people saying ridiculous things on the news and it's going to sound as antiquated as the newsreels of horrible racists from the '50s. Why is marriage equality important to me?  Because I'm a decent human being."

- Busy Philipps in the February 2013 edition of The Advocate magazine.

"Girls" Weekend in Dallas

I have four college friends named Missy, Anne, Elisa, and Julia.  They are my bitches. Missy lives in Midland, Texas.  Anne lives in San Antonio, Texas.  Elisa lives in Little Rock, Arkansas.  Julia lives in Sidney, Australia.  I received a text from Australia saying that Julia wanted to have a "girls" weekend in Dallas.  For better or worse they count me as one of the girls!  They have a sisterhood that has lasted beyond college, husbands, heartbreaks, and the joy of motherhood.  They are the greatest of friends, and somehow for years I have fit into the mix.   I am not part of the sisterhood, but I am part of the group.  It was a fast weekend.  We were in a loop that included lots of food, beer, wine, coffee, micheladas, and bloody marys....food, beer, wine, coffee, micheladas, and bloody marys...

It was a girls weekend, but I am not a girl.  I did not have a sister.  I am not married to a lady. It's weekends like this when I realize I am not used to girls.  I spent a lot of my weekend waiting on girls to get ready. They would proclaim they were ready to leave, but then it would be another 15 more minutes before anyone was actually walking out the door.  I think this is normal?  It's normal for men to wait on women?  Why?  I don't understand?

It was a silly weekend.  We walked around the lake.  Hung out at bars, restaurants, and our home.  We did headstands until midnight one night.  Missy and Julia taught me how to do a handstand. My husband ignored us so he could study, but he'd jump in for dinners and ignore us again...and then complain about late night rowdiness the next morning!

Presley is Five

And just like that, woosh, five years has come and gone since the birth of the little lady that magically turned us into uncles.  It has been a very speedy five years.  This weekend my husband studied at home while I attended Presley's "Princess and the Popstar" themed 5th birthday party at the Urban Air indoor trampoline park.  It was wonderful to see Presley and her sister Paxten bounce around with their friends.  Presley had over 20 friends attend her party.  (Do I have 20 friends?!)

And for her birthday we're taking Presley to pick out an American Girl doll.  Perhaps we will go this weekend?

(Presley turned us into uncles and perhaps one day we can turn her and her sister into cousins!)

Confused Raccoon

My husband and I were walking Trigger around 4:00 PM this afternoon in our east Dallas neighborhood when we happened upon a very confused adult raccoon shuffling through the street.  We stopped and watched as he approached a recently parked car.  The raccoon was attracted to motion; the raccoon would walk towards any movement. The raccoon saw us and started shuffling our way.  Instinctively we knew something was off with this confused raccoon.  How do you help a wild animal?    Was this raccoon a stroke victim?  Was he poisoned or was he rabid? We listened to our gut.  We turned around and left the raccoon alone.  The neighbors were going to call animal control.

It reminded me of the moment in To Kill A Mockingbird when the rabid dog is in the street.  I wish Atticus Finch lived in our neighborhood.  He'd know what to do...

List Your Strengths

This really happened.  You might want to sit down.  My client, who's a happily married man, was interviewing a new hire candidate, who's a woman.  She was a grown woman interviewing for an accounting clerk position in the home office of an oil field services company.  My client (the boss) was the last person to interview her and at some point he asked her to lists some of her strengths.

She listed as one of her strengths: She was really good at giving blow jobs.

Seriously.  In a job interview. She said she was really good at giving blow jobs.

She didn't get the job.

To be fair, my client didn't narrow the scope of the question.  It was his fault that he didn't ask for her work-related strengths only.  She was just trying to answer the questions, completely and thoroughly.  However, everyone knows that gay guys give the best blow jobs, which means if a woman is listing "really good at giving blow jobs" as one of her strengths, then she's a liar!  We don't hire liars.

True Love

At dinner this weekend I was telling my brother my key to a successful marriage.  It's simple.  I told my husband that if he ever leaves me, then I will hunt him down, kill him, and eat him.  My brother then told me how his wife said that if he leaves her she will chop off his man parts.  Ouch!

I hope our parents are proud, since both of their sons are in healthy committed marriages.

Twins!

Our friends', Adam and Eddie's, twin sons arrived last week.  I'm so thrilled for them!  There are no "surprises" when gay men have children.  It is a long journey for gay men to bring children home.  Surrogacy is expensive and takes almost a year from beginning to end.  Adoption is not cheap and can take months or years.  Adam and Eddie's sons are the most wanted twins!  Their daddies had to work just to bring them home.

At this point I can only image what they must be feeling, but I'm feeling very happy!

La Croix Love

A new discovery:  The one who made us uncles, Presley, enjoys La Croix (the carbonated water in can) as much as I do.  I don't think my brother is entirely supportive of me giving her cans of carbonated water, but this has been my drink of choice for over a decade.  (In college I would shotgun cans of La Croix while my friends were shotgunning cans of beer.  I know, I was so wild in my youth.)

I think lime La Croix is clearly superior, but my husband is a fan of orange La Croix.

Jodie Foster

I think Jodie Foster came out in her speech at the Golden Globes?!  I'm not entirely sure I could follow her speech, because she danced around many topics and I couldn't follow the thread.  Nonetheless, she did mention that she co-parented her two sons with a woman.  Either way, Silence of the Lambs and Contact were two great films of many she's created.  She's had a long career in Hollywood, and I hope she makes many more films regardless of her gayness.

Tethered Forever

I was blue for no reason yesterday.  I'm fine today.  Yesterday, however, I was blue.  It happens.  I'm human.  After a demanding week at work I came home to an empty house (my husband is at school), I'm fighting a cold,  and I suspect one of our dog sitters forgot to feed our dogs on Wednesday.  The dogs are fine, but regardless I felt like I failed my little beasts.  Usually when I'm blue I try to hide it from the world.  I didn't speak to my mother all day yesterday, and the last time we spoke all was happy, happy rainbows in my world.  And yet yesterday she telephoned me around 8:00 PM.  She was just calling to check on me because she felt something.

My mother and I have an invisible tether.  It's like I'm a kite flying in the air, and she's holding the line on the ground.   From her home 90 miles away, she can tell when I'm not soaring.  She can feel when I'm a bit blue.  I appreciated the call.  Who doesn't love a call from their mother?  It's comforting.

I hope I have the same connection to our future children.

Socialism Sucks

Socialism sucks.  In the month of January our much valued yoga studio is offering free yoga at the 2:00 PM Sunday class.  The husband and I pay a monthly fee for unlimited yoga, and we went to the studio a half an hour early but couldn't get in because the class was full.  Mary Mother of F-in God, there was no room at the inn! I was pissed at all the free loaders who were rearranging my Sunday afternoon.  After all, it was my 2:00 PM class!  When you have to pay the class isn't full.  When you don't have to pay the class is full.  Ridiculous and slightly predictable, but I didn't see that one coming.

Hey Socialists, if you have cash flow issues and you cannot afford yoga, then you can sign up to clean the studio once a week and earn free yoga.  Capitalize works.

My husband calmed me down from the situation.  (I couldn't  get in, dammit! )  We went to lunch and then went to a later class.  In the end, it all worked out.

Ouiser Boudreaux said it best: "I'm not as sweet as I used to be."

My Mess

My client is having a difficult time finding professional accounting clerks.  (The economy has recovered.)  I had a brilliant idea.  The young lady that works the night shift at the hotel I stay in three nights a week seems to be professional, and my client is paying more than the $10 an hour she earns. (Yes, I asked how much she was making.)  I asked her to get me her resume because I wanted her to apply for the position.  A week later she sent me her resume.  I sent it to our Controller.  My client found another solution for the open position, and they are in a holding pattern. This week when I checked into the hotel the manager told me that the young lady has put in her two week notice, because she's coming to work for me.  WHAT?!

I had to have an awkward conversation the next night to explain that asking her to send me her resume was not a job offer. 

So much for my brilliant idea.

Thank You Jeanne Manford

I just read that the mother of a gay son and founder of PFLAG Jeanne Manford has died at age 92.

From Towleroad:

"Being gay was a crime, over half of the U.S. population deemed homosexuality morally wrong, vicious attacks on gay people were commonplace, and the idea of equality for gays and lesbians was a radical notion. But this didn’t stop Bronx, New York schoolteacher Jeanne Manford from ensuring that her gay son, Morty, received the same treatment as her straight daughter, Suzanne.

"Following a brutal attack on his life at a rally, Manford stood alongside her son in a protest through the streets of Manhattan, carrying a sign that read “Parents of Gays: Unite in Support for Our Children.” Begged by observers to speak to other parents, she started support groups teaching parents to accept and support their LGBT loved ones and become, like her, brave advocates for equality. As demand steadily increased, Manford founded PFLAG, a national organization with a mission of support, education, and advocacy."

Unsolicited Offer

An unfamiliar couple placed a letter in our mailbox asking us to please call them first if we were thinking about selling our house.  Currently we have no plans to sell our house, but it is nice to be desired, right?  Our neighborhood is booming.  I think people are tired of suburbia, and our Dallas neighborhood with an award winning elementary school is a hot alternative.  Our 2,800 square foot three bedroom 2.5 bathroom 1980 single story house was the middle price point of our neighborhood when we purchased it in 2008.  However, the lowest price point houses (built in the1940's and 1950's) in our neighborhood are vanishing.  They are being purchased, torn down, and then replaced with 4,500 square foot houses. I predict in ten years our house will be the lowest price point in the neighborhood.  The evolution of this neighborhood is interesting.

I like change.  Change is what will one day bring us equality in this nation.  As these old houses are being demolished and replaced with new and improved houses, old ideas are being demolished and replaced  with new and improved ideas.  (Homos are equal to heteros!) Change is what keeps a society relevant.  I like change!  And you like change too!  If you didn't like change, then you'd be Amish.  If you're Amish, then you cannot read this blog.  Since you're reading this blog, then you like change too!

Brass Sisters

In November I listened to NPR's interview with the Brass Sisters, and I was captivated by their memories of their Aunt Ida's poppy seed cookies.  I printed the recipe and saved it.  Recently I baked the cookies with much hope, but I was disappointed with the final product.  The cookies are plain Jane boring.  They need butter instead of peanut oil or icing (maybe lemon icing) or more vanilla or all of the above.  The ladies spoke about the cookies with such fondness, but looking back I think they were confusing memories of their beloved Aunt Ida with these cookies.  (Food memories are powerful.)  The cookies didn't live up to the hype.

I went down to the lake and fed these cookies to a flock of migrating mallards, and they seemed to enjoy them!

QOTD

I just read this quote from the poster child for the redneck movement in our society.

"Ain't nothin' wrong with bein' a little gay.  Everybody's a little gay."

-Honey Boo Boo (Alana Thompson)

Even Straight People

These Las Vegas print advertisements always make me smile.  I posted about one previously here.  The winning formula includes sophisticated homos with the presence of ridiculous heteros.  If you go to Las Vegas you will see many heteros confusing Las Vegas with New Orleans during Mardi Gras because they have crazy drinks and beads.  Of course, homos understand the concept of time and place.

Everyone's Welcome, EVEN straight people!

The Lucky Few

According to HRC's holiday card "15.8% of Americans now live in states with marriage equality."  That's a start.  I cannot wait for Texas to join the list!

2013

Although, we had earlier accepted the invitation with much enthusiasm, last night my husband and I (rudely) no-showed to a New Year's Eve party.  Instead of a party with friends we had a nice quiet evening together.  We went to yoga and dined on my husband's (everything-but-the-kitchen-sink) tortilla soup.  My still jet-lagged husband had a difficult time staying awake past nine o'clock.  That was okay with me.  I was happy he was back home in our bed where he belongs.  I watched the ball drop live in New York City at 11:00 PM, and then I went to bed too.  It was a lovely night.

Happy 2013 to you and the ones you love!