Matchmakers

My husband and I are trying to set up his newest friend with our most divine friend.  I sent email introductions.  My husband coordinated an outing with the two of them in Philadelphia.  They went to dinner (without my husband) the next evening.  This weekend they spent time together at a birthday party in Houston. They both reported to us, independently, that they had a nice time together.  Could this be the start of love?  Being a matchmaker is hard work.  I'm on the edge of my seat when I know they're together.  It's exciting!  I hope they fall in love and get married and have babies.

(Our fee for matchmaking is their first born.  Do you think we should tell them about our fee?  I was going to wait until after the wedding.)

Winning

Although my husband is reluctant to offer me any sort of kudos, perhaps he's concerned I'm going to make up for lost time this week, I would like to congratulate myself for winning.  Hip, hip, hooray! I went 45 days without shopping.   It was my 45 day challenge.  I have learned that shopping was a habit, and I don't want to be defined by my habits- how boring is that?  I want to be defined by my intentional movements throughout life.

Family Credo?

At a Sunday night dinner over a seared Ahi tuna burger, a BBQ chicken salad (without black beans) and a heap of shared cheddar cheese fries my husband and I asked each other the simple question: "What are we doing?"  My husband is 4 months in on a 24 month executive MBA program in addition to his full time career in corporate America.  I'm a financial consultant.  Both of our careers require travel, and last week we clocked 36 hours together in the same city.  (Devastating to us both.)

We've decided that we need to write a family credo.  We need to make sure we're living life with a shared purpose.  Do we both want champion careers?  Is our goal to retire by the time we're 55?  Who's going to tap the brake on their career to make room for babies?  Can we sleep in the same city 24/7/365?

I like it when we check-in with our life.  We're trying to align our efforts with our goals.  We live a charmed life, but we both want to see each other more!  To date, we've both been very career driven.  Is that what we still want?  For now, yes.

QOTD

"Your husband is a gem."

- A late night text message from Sarah Dooley (the human) after she went out on the town with my husband in Philadelphia.  It's fun when two people you love have fun together. 

Cast Iron Urns

My husband says I'm getting creative with my stuff since I cannot shop.  It's true that I'm less engaged with my stores, since I know I can't make a purchase.  I've learned that shopping is just a habit.

My husband's mother gave me these cast iron urns for Christmas many years ago, but I've never found a favorite place to display them in our current house.  They were spectacular in the front yard of our first home.  This weekend I cleaned them up and brought them inside.  Currently, they are flanking our sunken bathtub in the master bathroom.  I love the cast iron with rust and the "found object" energy they bring to our squeaky clean bathroom.

I think white orchids would look nice in them, but I can only keep orchids alive for a weekend; and I enjoy their emptiness too.

When The Saints Go Marching In

I subscribe to my home town newspaper, and recently I read that my elementary school music teacher and after school piano teacher died.  I sat down at our piano and played the first few lines of "When the Saints Go Marching In" in honor of Mrs. Harris.  She was good piano teacher.  I was a terrible piano student.  I never learned to read music.  Mostly I would watch her play a song and memorize the movements of her hands to get along week to week.

One Year Since Repeal of DADT

I just read this article on Marine Corps News website.  Here are my two favorite paragraphs from the article:

"It’s been a year now since the policy known as “don’t ask, don’t tell” was repealed, enabling gay and lesbian members of the military to serve openly, no longer forced to lie and keep their personal lives under wraps."

"The Pentagon says repeal has gone smoothly, with no adverse effect on morale, recruitment or readiness. President Obama cites it as a signature achievement of his first term, and his Republican challenger, Mitt Romney, says he would not push to reverse the change if elected in place of Obama."

It does not surprise me that "the clear consensus is that repeal has produced far more joy and relief than dismay and indignation."  I can remember the tremendous relief I felt when I told my family and friends I was gay.  Secrets are a burden.  I'm just happy the brave military personnel can now serve without hiding their sexuality, without worrying about being outed.

Frank Ocean

Did you watch SNL this weekend?  I found Seth MacFarlane to be charming always and funny often.  It was a good show.  The puppet sketch had me laughing the loudest.  However, the biggest moment in the show, for me, was when Frank Ocean performed.  My husband told me he was an out gay hip-hop artists.  WHAT?  How did I miss his coming out this past July?  I count it as an achievement that I lived long enough to see an out gay hip hop artist perform.  Thank you Frank Ocean for having the courage to live your truth.  Of course, he's a youngster at 24 years old, which gives me hope for the future since the youngsters don't have a problem with homosexuality the way many of the ancient individuals still living in our society do.

I'm an out gay individual working in the consulting industry.  My husband is an out gay professional working in corporate America and getting his MBA.  Frank Ocean is an out gay artist working his craft on SNL's stage.  No matter your place in this world, if you're gay, then it's empowering to be out.  Be courageous.  Be proud.  Be out.  You only have one life to live, which means you have to make it count.  Go for it.  Full speed ahead!  Onwards and Upwards!

Meat Ashes

I'm always looking for organic ways to keep my yard vibrant.  My secret ingredients are usually liquified seaweed and earthworm castings.  However, yesterday when my husband was cleaning out his charcoal grill, I suggested that we spread the ashes on our grass.  My husband did.  Trigger thought that was a terrific idea.  Apparently, the ashes from a charcoal grill are meat flavored.  Trigger went to town eating and licking the grass with the BBQ ashes.  I could see where this was going and so I went to town with the garden hose in an attempt to dilute the ashes...both Trigger and I were working hard to get rid of the ashes.

Twice the dogs threw up grass and charcoal in our house yesterday.  Twice I cleaned it up, because I was the one with the spread-the-ashes-on-the-grass idea.  I think I'll stick with liquified seaweed and earthworm castings.  Trigger only likes to roll in earthworm castings.  

Supper Time

The weather in Dallas has been beautiful this weekend.  Here, the summers are sultry, and Texans are familiar with hot summertimes ("...your daddy's rich; your mama's good looking..."), but we're also always quick to welcome Fall.  I saw people putting out pumpkins and planting mums today, which might be a little too soon.  We celebrated the cooler weather by cooking outside.  My husband fired up his grill tonight after yoga, and we dinned on roasted Yukon golds with olive oil, sea salt, and cracked pepper, a simple salad, and my husband's grilled BBQ chicken.

Saint Ellen

This will make you feel fantastic.  Ellen is such a great lady.  I wish I didn't live in a world where people get bullied, but I love living in a world where a stranger (the mechanic) helps a bullied student!

And hooray for Ellen giving them both a check!

Hell-to-the-NO

Dear President George W. Bush,

Sigh.  Again?  Really?  I know your Presidential library is in Dallas.  I live in Dallas.  But no self respecting homosexual would give you money.  Remember when you wanted to pass an anti-gay amendment to the United States Constitution?  I remember.  I will not forget how it made me feel when the President was anti-gay.  You cannot have any of my money, ever.  Stop sending me this junk mail.

Sincerely,

Me

Trigger Leg

Trigger likes to be under the covers.  I walked into our bedroom and this is all I could see of our son.  I thought it was cuteness.

Burns is Black

Am I totally off base here?  I cannot believe that the Maryland House of Delegates member Emmett C. Burns Jr. who asked Baltimore Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti to stop Baltimore Ravens player Brendon Ayanbadejo, an outspoken supporter of marriage equality, from talking about gay rights is black.  That was a big sentence; let me distill it, Burns is a BLACK man?!  That's just insane to me.  It seems like as a member of a minority class (black Americans) he would champion the efforts of a minority class (gay Americans).  It wasn't that long ago when blacks were treated less-than, and in some corners of the U.S.A. they still are treated less-than white people.

It makes me angry that a black American would be anti-gay.  ANGRY.

Chris Kluwe, Thank You!

My brother sent me this link.  You must read it.  It's the best and the freshest letter I've ever read that dismantles anti-gay logic. Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe is coming out against Maryland lawmaker Emmett C. Burns, who this week urged Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti to silence Baltimore Ravens player Brendon Ayanbadejo from speaking his mind on gay rights.

One of my favorite parts of Kluwe's colorful letter:

"I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won't come into your house and steal your children. They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population, rights like Social Security benefits, childcare tax credits, family and medical leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA health care for spouses and children."

Chris Kluwe, I am a gay man building a life with the love of my life, and I want to have the freedom to marry him.  Thank you so much for standing up for the minority class (gay Americans).  It's people like you that give me hope that "one day" we will no longer be categorized as "less than" in the eyes of society.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Real Sister Dynamic?

I have one brother and he is my best friend forever.  We were the bestman in each other's weddings.  He gave his son (who didn't live outside the womb) my middle name in honor of me.  I love my brother.  And my brother has become the only brother my husband has known too; when the three of us are together the joking, the craziness are nonstop.

I really cannot relate to the terrible things two of the three sisters do to each other in Downton Abbey.  If my brother was in trouble, then I'd help him - not harm him.  A win for my brother is a win for me.  I cannot be jealous of my brother's achievements; I celebrate my brother's success.  However, the sisters in Downtown Abbey are jealous, competitive, and cruel. (Edith wrote the letter to the Turkish Embassy, and Mary sabotaged what would have been a proposal to Edith from her boyfriend, etc.)

Do you think that's true to life?  I can't imagine being this way towards my brother, so it's hard for me to believe they could be this way towards each other.  If you're a sister and you have a sister and you've watched Downton Abbey, then please let me know if you think this sister dynamic is true to life?  Is it possible for sisters to try an destroy each other?

Animal Taper Holder

Much to my delight, my husband gave me the same birthday gift two years in a row.  Since July one of the animal taper holders has been in our bedroom, and one has been in the main room, but today I finally decided to put the two animal taper holders together on the sideboard in the main room of our home.  My husband's reaction: "Whoa, that's an animal orgy."  It makes me smile every time I see this animal ensemble, and I like the big statement they make together.  I still envision this pair living on the dinning room table in our future mansion!  For now, I'm happy to see them each time I pass through the house.

Downton Abbey

As you know my husband is gone every other weekend in pursuit of his MBA.  And since I cannot go shopping this month, last night after work I went to yoga and after yoga I started watching the highly acclaimed Downton Abbey.  I didn't stop watching until almost 4:00 AM in the morning because it was that good!  Yes, I finished the entire first season in one night.  This show is addicting.  The people of this house are real to me.  The dead Turk storyline is my favorite.  Maggie Smith (Professor McGonagall is now a Dowager Countess!) steals the show.  Last night I was laughing all alone at some parts of this show.  For years I've heard great things about Downton Abbey, it looks like the third season is starting in the winter, and I was not disappointed.

Even though the only gay character at Downton Abbey is a beautiful, unkind, self absorbed ego maniac, which is a gay character stereotype writers use to add an element of drama, I still like this show because that gay character feels true.  If I was alive and living in the repressed society of 1914, then I might be unkind and opportunistic too.

A Boy Can Marry A Boy

Presley is four years old.  This weekend she saw a picture of my husband and me at our 2006 wedding and the following conversation took place.

Presley: "Is that a picture of your wedding?"
Me: "Yes"
Presley: "My friends at school don't believe me when I say a boy can marry a boy and a girl can marry a girl."
Me: "Well, they don't have two uncles like you do.  They might not know."
Presley: "A boy can marry a girl or a boy can marry a boy."
Me: "Yes, you can marry whomever you wish."
Presley: "I want to marry daddy."

This was not the first time I've heard my four year old niece say she wanted to grow up and marry her daddy (my brother) but it melts my heart every single time.  It's so sweet.  In Presley's eyes her father is the perfect man.  I'm so proud of my brother's parenting ability; he's the best dad.  Being "the best dad" is a skill that runs in our family!

Snug As a Bug...

Here's a photo of Dooley sleeping on a blanket.  She is such a beautiful little princess.  We took the dogs to get their nails did at Petsmart this weekend, and the dog beauticians go crazy for Dooley.  A nice young gay guy trimmed up her nails, cleaned her ears, and sprayed her coat with sweet smelling stuff.  She was a perfect client.

Trigger, on the other hand, acts like a captured beast when he gets his nails did.  It takes at least two of the Petsmart dog beauticians to get the job done.   It stresses me out to watch.  Trigger doesn't bite or bark, but I think it would be easier to trim the nails of a wild honey badger.  He fights when anyone touches his nails.  He is not a perfect client.

Good Morning

I saw this picture and it made me laugh.  I'm slow to wake up in the mornings.  I am cranky if people start talking to me and I haven't consumed at least a pot of coffee.  My husband, on the other hand, is wide-awake-alert-and-enthusiastic as soon as his eyes open.  This makes for a fun morning dynamic.   I try to be cheery in the mornings, but it takes a lot of work.  I would rather drink coffee and be cheery in a couple of hours.  That's okay, right?

Lovely Nieces

We had a wonderful holiday weekend.  For 28 hours we had our nieces.  Having Presley (4) and Paxten (2) in our lives is greatness.  We went swimming at Jim and Donna's house, where the girls impressed everyone with their swimming skills.  Presley liked to do cannonballs in the deep end of the pool, and Paxten liked to play in the hot tub.  After Paxten took her nap my parents joined us for an adventure at the children's museum and an Italian restaurant.  We colored, read books, had bath time, and had the girls in bed around 8:30 PM.

The next morning the girls were up before seven.  (Yikes!) They watched Cinderella while I drank my coffee.  We cooked them breakfast.  We went to the park.  We went to the mall.  We fixed them lunch. My brother and his wife picked them up.

My husband and I can't figure out how you take showers with small kids.  We just didn't shower until they left.  We played man-to-man defense and one of us was always assigned one of the girls.  What if my brother has another kid?  What if we have more than two kids?  How do we run zone defense with kids?

Baby Ad

I came across this advertisement in my subscription copy of Advocate for the Kiran IVF Genetics fertility clinic in India.  They have "affordable" surrogacy options, but I don't know what affordable means.  This is on my radar, since we have friends that are using a United States surrogacy and the total price tag is expected to cost just under $100K.

We are still debating surrogacy vs. adoption.  The clock is ticking, because my husband will finish his MBA in two years...and then it's baby time!