Weekend Away

Dooley is spending the weekend at her grandparents', Susu and Poppy's, house.  My parents successfully reared two sons.  My parents currently own two Jack Russell Terriers (Lucy and Annie) and my parents have been dog owners and dog lovers for their entire life together.  Nonetheless, I still typed out an email on how to properly take care of Dooley this weekend.  Apparently my email was over-kill because my parents made fun of me at our rendezvous location in the Central Market parking lot where I handed over our baby girl and all her stuff.

When I got home my husband said that he wondered what my email will say when we have human babies that we're leaving for the weekend at my parents' house...

Trigger is spending the weekend at his grandparents', Yaya and Papa's, house.  I will hold back and not send them an email.

I would be worried that I'm going to be a crazy dad, but I'm already a crazy dad.

Best Man

Two weeks ago we hosted a couples shower for our friends, and I didn't know any of the groom's friends before our shower.  Late into the party the best man was in our kitchen talking to me while I was washing dishes at the sink.  It was obvious that the best man was having a blast; he had (clearly) enjoyed our open bar; he kept talking about how great the food was and he also kept telling his skinny girlfriend to try the ooey gooey butter bars.  It was also obvious to me that the best man, who I like, had never really hung out with gay guys.  He was trying to over compensate for his lack of having any gay friends by dropping hints into our conversation about how he believes in equal rights for gays, he thinks it's dumb we can't get married, etc.

At one point we start talking politics and during that conversation these are the words that came out of the best man's mouth:  "I'm Republican, but I hate Rick Perry. I didn't vote for him. He's so gay."

My head immediately bolted up from looking at the dishes I was washing in the sink, but before I could turn around to look at him his mouth was already spewing  apologies.  "I'm so sorry.  I didn't mean that...."  He left the kitchen after his tenth apology, and later I learned he went and told the bride what he just said and apologized to her too.

When will straight boys learn?  Being gay is a blessing, which means the word "gay" is a positive word and it cannot be used to belittle another individual.  

Tree Destroyer

Dooley started attacking our Japanese maple tree again.  She likes to bring the little branches that she's ripped off the trunks into the house through the doggie door.  This is picture of the most recent branch that was placed at my feet by our daughter. She is a tree destroyer.

New Ina Dishes

It's always fun to try new recipes. At Easter I tried two new recipes from Ina's newest cookbook: Barefoot Contessa How Easy Is That?  We served her lobster and shells pasta salad and her mocha chocolate ice box cake. (Along with grilled beef tenderloin, grilled jalapenos stuff with cream cheese wrapped in bacon, spinach and artichoke dip,  grilled vegetables, rolls, deviled eggs, and mixed green salad!) 

I will for sure make the pasta and shells again, but the mocha chocolate ice box cake wasn't what I was expecting. To be fair to Ina's ice box cake, it didn't have a chance once my mother brought her cream cheese pie to the party.  You should try to befriend my mother just so you can taste her cream cheese pie!  It's so cream, so vanilla-y, so delicious!  It might be my favorite dessert, ever.

Happy Easter

We hosted Easter lunch this weekend for our parents, my grandparents, and my brother's family.  It's heaven to have everyone together under our roof.  Our nieces Presley and Paxten bring so much joy to the party.  We love our family!

Britney's Wisdom

You must go to iTunes and purchase Britney's "How I Roll" song from her newest album, Femme Fatale.  That song makes me happy, and I jam to it every morning on my way to work.

Also, in the April 2011 edition of Out magazine Britney Spears was asked the following question: "You've been married twice- once for only 55 hours.  How do you feel about gay marriage?"  Britney answered: "I think everyone should be treated equally."

As Britney's answer implies, it should be so simple, right?  Why can't we all be treated equally? Why does our society make it so complicated?  My brother got to marry the person of his choice- why can't I get married to the person of my choice?

Baby Fund

As humans are we biologically programmed to go baby-crazy when spring is in the air?  It seems to me that more now than at any other time in our history we have friends and family members asking about our baby plans:  "Are we adopting?"  "Are we using surrogacy?"  "If we're going to have a baby, when?" 

It makes me feel so normal when we get these questions.

According to our research, it cost around $30,000 to adopt, but I don't think adoption will work for us.  We would only want to adopt an infant, which means we'd have to be picked by a birth mother or we'd have to wait for years.  I want to be in control of our future, and I don't want to be waiting for a mother to pick us.

According to our research, it cost between $75,000 and $100,000 to have a child through surrogacy.  (Surrogacy is defined as one woman's egg, our sperm, and another woman's womb.)  Given the two options surrogacy appears to be the best option for us.  As such, we've created a baby fund where we're saving extra money for surrogacy.  (Our friend Josh, who is president of a west Texas bank, told us that he could set up financing for adoption or surrogacy, but we don't want to finance a child.)  We're saving money, and according to our plan it'll be three to four years before we have the funds to move forward with surrogacy.


The Takeaways: Yes, we want to have a baby.  Yes, we plan on using surrogacy to create our family, and according to our current plan it'll be around 2014 before we have the funds for a baby.

Court Yard Duck

My husband's parents live on the lake, and for the second time in two years a mama duck has laid a multitude of eggs in their front court yard area, which interestingly enough does not face the lake.  The mama must think it's a safe space?  In the previous year the eggs disappeared- perhaps they were eaten by a raccoon, a water snake, or some other hungry animal.  This year my husband's mother has fortified her court yard in an attempt to keep out other animals.  I'm hoping these babies hatch!

Gorgeous Girl Handsome Man

Look at this picture of Sarah Dooley relaxed on her bed.  Isn't she gorgeous?  The second picture is of Trigger Monkey on the couch.  Isn't he handsome?  At night Trigger gets tired and cranky, and he doesn't like it when Dooley starts running around the house...so we have to put him up on the couch or in the bed to keep him safe from his energetic sister. 

Pack A Suit

In less than a month we'll be in the Republic of Georgia.  It will be my first time to cross the Atlantic, and I'm really looking forward to the adventure that is in front of us.  We Skyped with my cousin who lives in Georgia and she reminded us that Europe is more formal than the States.  She said we should pack our suits.  Taking formal clothes on a European vacation makes me feel like I'm visiting another era.  In the 1960's my husband's father vacationed with his aunt and uncle in Europe; I've seen the photographs, and my husband's father was wearing a suit in every single photograph.

Focusing on the Now

While I was typing the previous post I had our baby girl in my lap and Trigger at my feet.  So instead of being too reflective on the life and death of Martha Fauker I'm going to celebrate the here and now.

Trigger Monkey is my lover boy and Sarah Dooley is my rambunctious girl, and the three of us are going outside to enjoy the evening air...
 

Collar

I keep Martha Fauker's collar on a vase in the main room of our home.  I like to see it on display.  This weekend at the couples' stock the bar shower the bride's mother, DeAnne, saw the collar and started tearing up.  When I was in college and had to go out of town, DeAnne would keep Martha Fauker for me, and DeAnne has been a dominate member in the Martha Fauker fan club ever since. 

Martha Fauker's death makes me feel like a magical part of myself is gone for good.

I wish I knew with certainty and without an echo of doubt that heaven exists and that I'll see Martha Fauker again. 

Life goes on...

Iris Beauty

Behold the beauty of our irises!  I still think irises are the most under-appreciated flowering plant.  They are easy to grow and they are beautiful in bloom- why aren't there more irises in the world?   Maybe I should start a non-profit: Society for the Promotion of Iris Beauty? Iris Beauty Advocacy Group? Iris Beauty Awareness League?

Of course when it comes to iris beauty I am partial to the cool color palette; blues, purples, whites.  I only let the yellow irises grow on the other side of our fence in the alley, but I'm okay with that because I bet someone in the world likes yellow irises more than the blues/purples/whites, and together we balance each other out.

Stock the Bar Shower

We hosted a couples' stock-the-bar shower for our friends Missy and Josh this weekend.  (They are getting married in January 2012.)  It's always great fun to hang out with our college friends.  We really only see each other in person a few times a year.   One of our friends, Mike, is a brewmaster and he brought two kegs of his home brewed beer, which was a big hit.  We had tons of other beverages too- wine, margarita punch, cokes, lemonade and ice tea!  But of course we also had more than enough food!

The menu:

• Grilled vegetable kabobs (red potatoes, squash, bell peppers, pineapple, sweet onions.)
• Grilled cream cheese stuffed jalapenos wrapped in bacon
• Grilled sliders with all the fixings
• Brisket stuffed corn muffins
• Cheese puffs
• Spinach and artichoke dip
• Fresh fruit salad
• Ooey gooey butter bars
• Cupcakes

We used my husband's mother's silver platters, Glenda's silver punch bowl, and my mother's white table cloths- we are so lucky to have family willing to loan us their good stuff.  The best part is hosting with my husband.  It's a tremendous amount of work to host a shower, but I really like having our house full of interesting people who are eating good food and laughing through the night.

Republicans Are Getting Smarter

The RNC's website Hope Isn't Hiring has been removed, and now it just redirects you to the RNC website.  I went to the Hope Isn't Hiring website before it was removed because I had to see with my own eyes the anti-gayness the RNC was projecting out into the world.  I've been annoyed with Republicans ever since George W. Bush used gays as a tool to drive fear into his base.  Remember when we were at war and W. wanted to pass a constitutional amendment to exclude gay people from marriage?  I've never understood how my marriage would affect your marriage?  I still don't understand why I can't get married to the one I love?  Republicans can be evil because in this century they've used gay people, a minority, as a tool to get elected. 

Since they've taken down their anti-gay website do you think that Republicans are getting smarter?   Do they realize that in the long run their gay fearmongering isn't going to work?  And if you're a Republican reading this and you're not anti-gay, then why are you letting your party be anti-gay?

Six Months

It's been six months since Martha Fauker died.  I still miss her, but the sting of her death has faded.

No matter what we did to persuade her otherwise, she always peed in the same spot in the backyard, which killed the grass.  This spring new grass is growing in that spot, and without Martha Fauker I suspect our yard will be lush and green by June. I will miss the brown spot in my yard.

My three-year-old niece, Presley, likes to count the boys and girls that live in each house.  She includes dogs, appropriately, in her computations.  She starts at my parents house and she lists three girls (Susu and their two dogs) and then she lists the one boy (Poppy).  Next she counts by naming the four girls at her house (herself, my brother's wife, my niece Paxten, and their dog) and then she counts the one boy (my brother) at her house.  Finally, she counts the two boys (my husband and me) and the girls, which are our dogs (Presley always counts Trigger as a girl even though Trigger is a boy) that live at our house.  For the first time a few weeks ago Presley did not include Martha Fauker in her counting of the girls that live at our house.  I don't know why, but it made me really sad.  I felt silly for feeling sad.

Life goes on...

Auto Show

When we told our friends Jim and Donna that we went to the Dallas Auto Show on Friday night they looked at us an asked if we were still gay?  I really like the auto show, but I think my husband only tolerates it because it makes me happy.  I can remember talking about new cars with my father while I was growing up- I've always liked new automobiles- and the auto show is one place where you can climb inside all the new cars...or most of them.  

I snapped these two photos of cars that you could not touch.  One is the Chevy Stingray concept car, and the second is the $1.2mm Bugatti.

Running

Yesterday evening we were taking Trigger on a walk (yes, walk), and my college friend and neighbor who is 7.5 months pregnant ran (yes, ran) passed us.  She looks like this picture, except her belly is bigger. She's creating life AND running; women are superior to men.  Way to go Katie!

Up in the Air

My husband spends a lot of time up in the air.  He sent me this photo last week when he was in a different city each day of the week.  I try to enjoy each day of life, but it seems like today, more than any other time, we are living for the weekends.  The good news is that this week my husband will only be out of town one night.

I want to win the lottery so we can spend every day together!

Ooey Gooey Butter Bars

We're hosting a couples' stock-the-bar shower next weekend, and yesterday we tested new recipes.  One recipe we didn't need to test was our ooey gooey butter bars.  They are always a big hit at parties.  I made them yesterday, and they'll be frozen until the party.

Natural Beauty

Is there any flower more beautiful than a purple iris?  And the white clematis is so elegant.  I love springtime flowers. 

Seaweed and Earthworms

My husband's mother introduced me to liquid seaweed and earthworm castings a few years ago, and I put that stuff all over my yard and flowerbeds.  It's magic.  However, both Trigger and Dooley like to eat earthworm castings- yuck! - so I have to apply it carefully.

Daisy Chain

Since I don't drink, my husband objects to me purchasing wine for the house.  He doesn't like it because I pick out the bottles with the most beautiful and/or interesting label.  We were at Central Market and I saw this display of "Daisy Chain" wine.  How neat is that bottle of wine?  It's simple.  It's blue.  It's pretty.  But my husband would not let me buy a bottle.

Dooley Brings Us Out

We moved into our house in the summer of 2008, but we didn't really meet our neighbors until this month.  Our street dead-ends on both ends, and the only way you can get to our street is if you know where to turn; we live on a very quiet street in Dallas.  Most of the neighbors have lived in their homes for 20+ years; we felt like outsiders on our street until Dooley arrived.  For the second time in two weeks I've had a group of my 50-something and 60-something neighbors enjoying a front yard happy hour yell at me from their circle of lawn chairs: "Go get Dooley and come see us!"  Our neighbors love Dooley!

I can't keep up with their names.  They call me by my husband's name sometimes too.  But they don't forget Dooley's name. 

I like knowing my neighbors.

Pizza

Roasted tomatoes, roasted bell peppers, with pineapples and jalapenos - it was the delicious pizza creation by my husband. 

Branch

Dooley brought this branch from our Japanese Maple into the house. She likes to attack trees and other back yard items.  She's our rambunctious little girl. 

Sleeping Genius

Paxten was late to her own birthday party.  Her nap ran long.  I went upstairs and snapped this photo of her sleeping; I was hoping the snap of my iPhone would wake her up!  Of course when she woke up she was ready to party. 

One Year Old

Yesterday we celebrated the birth of our niece Paxten. She turned one a few days ago.  It was a sunny Saturday with lots of family, children bouncing in the bounce house, and of course CAKE!  We contributed the cake to her party- isn't it fabulous?  We love Paxten so much.