Blow Out at the Office

This morning at the office I walked by my buddy Jordan.  He paused and then uncomfortably asked if I was wearing red boxers?  I was wearing red boxers! Was he psychic?  I wish.  Jordan then informed me that I had a big hole in my britches.  It was a little embarrassing.  I showed my buddy Dave, and then my other buddy Michael.  We laughed, and then I walked out of the office with my long coat to cover the blow out.  I went to Banana Republic for lunch. I got a new pair of pants.

I'm going to yoga.

Oh No! The Big "D" for Del

You can read it in The Advocate or The Dallas Voice.  This weekend our friend Del posted the following note on his Facebook page:

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To my fans and friends:

It saddens me to inform you that Jason Dottley and I are divorcing.

I will always cherish the almost ten years that we were together -- married for eight, legally for three. Jason was a wonderful husband to me and a great step-father to my daughters. I will miss being his husband.

Jason and I both fought hard for marriage equality, and I will continue to fight that fight until gay marriage is legal nationwide. Our divorce only proves that like straight people who have the right to marry and divorce, we are all equally human.

I know we are going to disappoint a lot of people and for that, I am truly sorry. But I will never feel that we failed, and I have no regrets. This was not what I wanted, but I must now accept what Jason wants. I only wish him the very best and will celebrate his continued success.

I've had lots of losses in my life, and I've found that I heal when I turn to my pen, my writing and my work. I promise you more twisted stories, that will make you laugh, think and maybe shed a tear
or two.

I welcome any words of support, but this is so hard, and privacy is important to me and my daughters during this difficult time.

Del Shores
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I thought Del very eloquently points out that like straight people gay people are equally human, and we deserve the right to marry and divorce.   

Del and Jason's wedding was the first gay wedding I ever attended.  I was inspired. They were at our wedding three years later.  Del married us.  Earlier this month they were at our home celebrating with us, it was a great party with friends. Last week their marriage came to an end.  I'm sad for them.  I'm sad for Del.  This divorce is a terrible reminder that when one person wants out of a marriage there is nothing the other person can do. Nothing! (That truth haunts me a little bit.)

Sing it Adele: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

College Days

During the long Thanksgiving holiday my husband and I stayed up late and slept late.  I haven't slept until the clock hit double digits (10 or 11) in what feels like ages.  It was a throw back to my college routine.  I liked it.

Happy Thanksgiving

We had a very enjoyable Thanksgiving holiday.  This year we were with my husband's side of our family and since we were not with my side of our family I thought I'd be distracted from the First Holiday Without My Grandmother sadness.  Unfortunately, that didn't work out.  I walked into my husband's parents' house, received an enthusiastic huge from 7-year-old Lucy (which melted my heart and my defenses) and then started crying while I greeted my husband's sister.  Awkward.  Luckily I rallied and we had a fun two days of family, food, and fun!

Tortilla Soup

The cooler weather means it's time for my husband to make a pot of his tortilla soup.  It's a delicious tradition.

Not Lotion

Any time our friend Del, who lives in Los Angeles, is in Dallas on business, which is about once a quarter, we insist that he stays with us.  He's the most considerate house guest; he tells good stories, he takes us to nice dinners, and he makes us laugh non-stop.  We love him.  In fact, he's been popping in and out of our house so consistently for the past three years that we refer to our front bedroom as "Del's bedroom."

He flew in town for my husband's party last week and he turned it into a work week.  (Sidestory: Del's husband is a very busy man, but he flew into Dallas for 16 hours just so he could attend the party too!  How rock star is that?  Note to self: At least once in our life fly into a city for 16 hours for a party.  Be a rock star.)

Del woke up the morning after the party with his face flushed with red dots. Hives? He worried he was getting an allergic reaction from the crawfish tamales.  (But they were so delicious it was worth it!)  He took a bunch of meds and carried on.  The next morning he woke up with his face bright red.  It was no longer worth it. He found a doctor.  The doctor said it wasn't an allergic reaction to shell fish, and it looked like it was a reaction to something he was putting on his face.  The doctor asked what he'd been putting on his face?  Del said he left his night time moisturiser at home so at night, before bed, he'd been using our pink grapefruit lotion.

Of course, when he got back to our house he realized that he wasn't using grapefruit lotion.  We don't have grapefruit lotion.  He was using grapefruit hand SOAP as lotion!  He was rubbing it all over his face, and then going to bed.  Not once, but twice.  He did this two nights in a row. Of course we laughed....non-stop...about his self administered chemical peel!

Pear Preserves 2011

This morning I made pear preserves with vanilla beans and organic honey.  I love making blackberry preserves and pear preserves, because I can create concoctions with layers and layers of flavor.   I used a combination of Taylor Gold, organic Bartlett, and local pears.

While we were at Central Market my husband noticed the $22 worth of pears, $8 in vanilla beans, $14 in local raw honey I needed to make preserves.  (Plus I had canning jars and sugar at home.)  He pointed out that we're spending $50 to make Pear preserves, and then he walked over to the jelly aisle and showed me a $5 jar of pear preserves.  He asked if I wanted to buy a jar instead?   When I turned down his offer (pointing out that I don't add any preservatives or pectin to my preserves) he said that he's going to plant me a pear tree so we can at least get free pears.

Old Friends, New Memories

It's always nice to meet new people and make new friends; however, there is nothing sweeter than life-long friends.  I have a handful of "lifers" that I still see a few times a year.   Earlier this week my lifer Jennifer and her husband William and two year old daughter hosted a dinner party because another one of my lifers Zach and his wife Sarah and six month old son were in town from Alaska.  William picked up food from a Cajun restaurant and for dessert we had Nothing Bundt Cakes!  

Thank you Jennifer and William!

Bright Lights

These are some photos my mother took with her cell phone last weekend at my husband's One Billionth Second of Life Celebration!  I like the way she captured the lights, and I found it enjoyable that she snapped a photo of the turkey!

Especially The Chandelier

Our caterers sent us the following handwritten note after my husband's party:

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"Thank you so much for letting us cater your one billionth second birthday party.  We can truly say this was a first for us.  Everybody was so nice and seemed to be having a wonderful time.  Your home is lovely.  It had so many neat items especially the chandelier.  Please think of us again in the future.  Have a wonderful holiday season.  Sincerely David, Drew, and Nakima."
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Isn't that nice?  My husband and I consider our home a sacred space.  We take great pride in surrounding ourselves with beautiful objects than inspire us to relax, achieve, appreciate, and live life graciously.  We love our home, which is all that matters, but I find it (unexpectedly) rewarding when other people (friends/family/caterers) seem to appreciate our home too.

Hey, Turkey!

I first told you about my turkey in 2009 and again in 2010 and now it's 2011 and the Turkey is, once again, watching over our house.  I think it's a fun November tradition.  Gobble, Gobble!

One Billion Seconds

Last week my husband turned One Billion Seconds old.  My husband who graduated with honors from UT as an electrical engineer (sometimes I like to call him my engi-NERD) wrote a computer program several years ago to calculate when he'd turn 1,000,000,000 seconds old.  He reached that point last Monday.  As such, we hosted a dinner party to celebrate my husband and his first one billion seconds of life!

It was a spectacular event.  We served delicious food and never-ending drinks.  I could not have picked a more interesting group of diverse individuals.  Our dinner guests span an age range from 25-ish to 64-ish.  We had Americans, Africans, Indians, Australians and Russians in our home.  We had small business owners, doctors, architects, lawyers, business professionals, educators, yoga instructors, entertainers, a writer and a meteorologist in our home. We had Republicans, Democrats, Independents, married people, divorced people, single people, straight people and gay people in our home.   It was a nice mix of people, and everyone came because they wanted to honor my husband.

Our family members have told us that they liked our friends, and our friends have told us that they liked our family members.

It was a great party.

It was so much fun we should do it again; therefore, please save-the-date: in less than 31 years and nine months we're having a Two Billion Second party for my husband.

More Than Ever

You must find ten minutes and watch this short film.  It's The Devotion Project's "More Than Ever" which is about Bill Campbell and John Hilton, a couple who have been together for 54 years.  Like us, they are a devoted gay couple.  They were together in the 1950's, '60's, '70's, '80's, '90's, '00's, and this video was made in the 2011 - they made it to the '10's!  Think about how much the world has changed from when they first met until this year.

I'm so thankful Bill and John shared their story with these film makers.  It's beautiful. (Remember, when it's all said and done the only thing that will matter are the relationships you have with the people you love.  Nothing else will matter.)

Concert Film

I almost did a cartwheel in my office I was so excited this afternoon when I accidentally discovered that on November 29 Adele is releasing a full concert film!  I haven't stopped listening to 21 since I downloaded it this spring.  Her album is as perfect of a creation as humanly possible. 

Adele's "Someone Like You" is one of my most loved songs, EVER.  Her words, her music, her voice- it's a trio of greatness created by one person.  I love Adele.

Deliciousness

Grilled BBQ chicken, pickled beats, curry couscous with grape tomatoes, and grilled bacon wrapped cream-cheese stuffed jalapenos- it was a delicious meal.  I thought I'd share the deliciousness (via photo) with you.

Mother and Son

I spent Saturday with my parents in Canton, Texas. About mid-afternoon my father went in search of something refreshing to drink, lemonade, while my mother and I stepped into a little art gallery/jewelry store.  It was a small space.  No other customers were inside and so perhaps we felt free to interact with each other openly.  The store was interesting enough that we lingered longer than usual.

When we were checking out the lady behind the cash register introduced herself as the artist.  She also asked my mother if I was her son.  Of course my mother claimed me.  The artist went on to explain that she has a son, Adam, and our interaction reminded her of her interaction with her son.  She said nothing is more special than the relationship of a mother and son.  The artist said she could tell we had a special relationship.

I think my mother started to tear up at this point.  However, the nice artist yelled at her to STOP THAT!  She said my mom can't do that in her store, because if my mom cries then the artist would have to cry too.  They both laughed and the laughter allowed my mother to pull back her tears.

While all this was going on I immediately thought of my uncle, my mother's brother.  Last month my grandmother died.  And with her death my uncle lost the special relationship a mother has with her son.  It made me sad.  If I put myself in my uncle's shoes, then it's frightening to think that I wouldn't be able to call, email, text, or hang out with my mother. 

I love my mom!

Canton

On Saturday, my mother, my father and I went to Canton's First Monday Trade Days!  It was not an unique idea, that place was covered up with people, but it was a great idea.  The weather was beautiful.  The shopping was an adventure.  And at two different points in the day we ate blackberry cobbler and sour cherry cobbler.  It was a great day!

Although, when we got back to the house I had to explain to my husband why we "needed" $100 worth of new Tupperware.

Aunt Charlotte

My mother's sister, my Aunt Charlotte, just turned sixty.  (Hooray!)  While every moment you clock here on earth is reason enough to celebrate, I really like that we take note when people hit their zero birthdays.  My cousin and her husband very generously hosted a family dinner at The Melting Pot on Friday night to celebrate Aunt Charlotte's birthday.  We talked; we toasted the birthday girl; we enjoyed the slow paced dinner.  We dipped our bread into different cheese, then we dipped our steak, lobster, pork, chicken, shrimp in cooking oil, and then we dipped cake and strawberries into various chocolates. It was a festive night.

I'm paraphrasing but at one point after several toasts were made in her honor, my aunt stood up and said: "Maybe I was a good mother; maybe I made a few mistakes as a mother, you'll have to ask my children, but I hope my children always felt loved.  I hope my children always felt encouraged to explore their passions.  Today on my sixtieth birthday I know, my richness, my wealth comes from my children and grandchildren.  I love you all so much."

I loved that toast.  It echoes the driving principals of my life: When it's all said and done the only thing that matters are the relationships you have with the people you love.

After

Look at our beautiful new bathroom counter tops.  When I got home I was a bit shocked, because I had envisioned a more subtle white marble with faint grey veins, but instead the quarry delivered this light grey marble with aggressive dark grey veins.  My counter tops look like a Jackson Pollock painting. 

I don't know what I was thinking originally when I wanted white marble, because these bold counter tops will be great in our house; our house projects a very strong point-of-view.  We don't really know how to do subtle.  These counter tops can hold their own.

Beautiful.

Hello Wallpaper

Look what was hiding behind the bathroom mirror?  When was that wallpaper ever considered beautiful?  Do you think in 30 years they'll be asking the same question about our design choices from 2011?

Before

We're getting new counter tops in our guest bathroom and half bathroom.  The above photos are of the current counter tops; they are yellow-ish (butter white) cast stone with shell sinks and gold fixtures.  They were amazing in 1980, but it's time for a new look. 

WTF 72 Days?!

Do you know how annoying it is to live in a society were homos do not have the freedom to marry, but heteros have the unlimited freedom to marry and divorce.  Yeah, don't give homos the freedom to marry because we might damage the sanctity of marriage.  Kim Kardashian was married for four years to Damon Thomas; the marriage ended in divorce.  Kim Kardashian was married to Kris Humphries; she filed for divorce after 72 days.  Ridiculous.