Super Bowl Week

Wish me luck. This is Super Bowl week. The game is being played in Arlington at the new Dallas Cowboy Stadium, but the action will be happening in Dallas and Fort Worth. I live in Dallas and I work in Fort Worth. I'm scared I'll spend the whole week in traffic jams, but I'm going to try and enjoy all the craziness because when will this happen again?

Let's Race

This afternoon while we were in the kitchen I asked my husband if he wanted to race to see which one of us could peel a clementine the fastest. (My husband is very competitive.) He said he would race me, but we'd have to wait until he was ready to eat a clementine. He is still not ready to eat a clementine...

...I think he's scared. I think he knows I'm the fastest peeler in our house.

Way to go Mom

My mother has been a public school teacher since 1978 and she's still teaching and inspiring students, daily. I grew up in a small town and my mother taught me 7th grade Reading and 8th grade English and she later moved up to high school and became chair of the history department- she taught me government and economics my senior year of high school too. I know from experience that my mother is an excellent educator.

I am so proud of my mom, and I wanted to share part of an email my mother sent to me:

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A former student sent me a message on Facebook yesterday. She said she had seen my name on another’s post and she told me that she was from the class of 1993. I remember her totally. She told me I was an inspiring teacher and that I continue to inspire her to this day and that she hopes her kids have a [teacher like me] one day. There’s no higher compliment as a teacher than that, huh? I almost sat there and cried, but instead I smiled. She also said this (below) was one of her favorite quotes that we talked about and that she used it in her life. It’s from Alford, Lord Tennyson’s “Ulysses” & we probably discussed it in English class. “To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield"

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This email didn't surprise me. People have always told me that my mom was their favorite teacher. Recently my brother got out of a speeding ticket because the cop said our mom was his best teacher. If only everyone could have been in my mother's classroom, then the world would be a smarter and happier place.

I love you mom.

Quote of the Day

"I don’t know what weapons will be used in world war three, but in world war four people will use sticks and stones" -Albert Einstein

Boo Baylor

These words in the Dallas Voice grabbed my attention:

"For the second time in less than a year, a popular East Dallas gym owned by Baylor Health Care System is under fire for blatantly discriminating against gay couples."

You can read the rest of the article here. The issue is that Baylor won't let a gay couple get a family membership in their Baylor Tom Landry Fitness Center because they don't think gay couples are equal to hetero couples. This is terrible, but it's not surprising that Baylor would discriminate against homos.

My husband and I had a membership to this very gym for one year; we dropped our membership because we did not utilize their facilities, but they wouldn't recognize us as a "family" either. It's annoying. It's just what we deal with in our life.

Now our "gym" money goes to a yoga studio that recognize us as a family.

Design Sponge Sneak Peek

I love this bedroom. I think I'd have extra sweet dreams sleeping on this bed in this bedroom. It's so open and peaceful and light and bright! Think about the morning sunlight streaming in those windows. Fantastic. You should check out the whole house at Design*Sponge's Sneak Peek.

Sin

I'm okay with mega church pastor Joel Osteen calling homosexuality a sin as he did on CNN's Piers Morgan Tonight show. I'm not a member of his church. His beliefs and words have no power over my life. Plus, I think people should have the freedom to believe whatever they want.

I'm not okay with a state government banning the recognition of marriage between to individuals that are the same gender: "Today an Iowa House subcommittee will begin the process of amending the state’s constitution to ban all legal recognition of same-sex relationships..." The laws of a state have power over all citizens- even the gay ones! The majority (heteros) can always write laws to restrict the rights of the minority (homos). It's not right.

Oprah Letter

Once when I was a 15-year-old high school freshman living my small town life I hand wrote Oprah Winfrey a letter expressing my appreciation for her work and also expressing my angst about life and my future. She replied with a letter encouraging me to stay in school and dream BIG. (Click on the photo above to enlarge.) In my small town life the concept of form letters and signature stamps didn't exist, which means I felt like Oprah wrote the letter to me specifically. I was on top of the world when I received that letter in the mail. It was a great day.

I spent the entire summer writing Oprah letters. I never received another reply. I was 16 when school started again and my obsession with making Oprah my pen pal eased. But when I was having a tough day, as all teenagers do from time to time, I would find that letter and read it to myself. Reading that letter always made me feel on top of the world.

The Fighter

Make sure you watch The Fighter at some point this year. I really enjoyed this film; it was so much more than another boxing movie. The acting was superb. The story was interesting, and it also showed a realistic example of the bond between siblings. Of course, after I left the theater I wanted to go punch someone in the face- boxing movies always make me want to fight- but trust me, this movie is deeper than most boxing movies.

Super Dad

My brother's wife has an incredible career in marketing, and along with her promotions comes more travel. Some weeks when his wife is out of town on business my brother is living the life of a single dad. Last week I stopped by their house on my way home from work to try and help out with his girls.

I was so impressed at my brother's parenting skills. He leaves work, picks up the girls, and then entertains, feeds, bathes and puts them to bed. Life can be exciting when you have a three year-old and a 10-month-old, but my brother never loses his cool. He's always talking Presley through situations. He's also always making sure he gives both of his girls equal attention.

When I'm a father I hope I'm as talented as my brother.

Bikram

My husband has been practicing Bikram Yoga for many years. After a few starts and stops I started my Bikram Yoga practice this past April, and it doesn't resemble anything similar to what is depicted in this month's Details magazine: The Overheated, Oversexed Cult of Bikram Choudhury. After reading that article I suspect millions of young men will be signing up for teacher training for a chance to meet the women.

My husband and I are sensible people. We don't really think of Bikram Choudhury (the founder of our yoga practice) to be anything more than a man that invented a great 90 minute yoga practice. Our studio teachers like to call him our yoga guru, and some of them think of him as a rock star. No. Normal people like us have to sometimes ignore the Kool Aid drinking crowd.

I believe Bikram Yoga is an excellent mind/body workout and I think everyone should try it, which is why I did like this one quote in the Details article:

"Stick with it. Soon you won't ask yourself why you do it. You'll ask yourself why everyone else doesn't."

Thank You

Yesterday was my first day back in my office after our ski trip. A few items had started to come unraveled while I was out of the office, and yesterday I worked hard to put those items back on track. I succeeded. After two plus years of working for my boss, the CFO of our firm, yesterday for the first time he emailed me two little words: "thank you."

I feel like I just won the Superbowl and an Oscar and a Grammy. Never have two little words meant so much. I decoded the "thank you" as: I'm glad you're back, I missed you, and thanks for taking care of business.

Open Letter

Dear George W. Bush Presidential Library at SMU,

Please stop sending us letters asking for our money. We get letters every other week it seems. I know my husband and I are DINKs (Double Income, No Kids) which makes us logical targets when you're asking for money, but I will not send any money to anything to do with George W. Bush. During his Presidency Dubya did nothing for gay rights, an issue which is important to me. In fact, President Bush championed a bill that would write discrimination into the US Constitution- he wanted to define marriage between one man and one woman in the Constitution.

My own self confidence prevents me from giving money to someone that has belittled my existence.

Sincerely,

Me

Bambara

If you're in Salt Lake City, then you have to go eat at Bambara. It's the restaurant in the Hotel Monaco which is part of the famous boutique hotel chain, Kimpton. It wasn't the least expensive meal I've ever eaten, but it was delicious!

You Can Do It

I love the American Can-Do attitude. For example, Park City teaches the paralyzed and visually impaired to ski. The blind skiers have a guide that skis in front of them and talks them down the mountain. The paralyzed skiers ski in a special devise. We spoke to a ski instructor who said the paralyzed skiers are often war veterans.

It inspires me, because no matter what obstacles you have in your life you can do it!

Squid Ink

We ate at Cisero's one night and my husband got a black fettucini dish. I've never heard of black fettucini, and our server said they make it in-house and the color comes from "squid ink." The black fettucini added a depth of flavor to his dish and it was very interesting.

It's always fun to discover new things.

Justin Taylor

My husband's mother and I toured the art galleries in Park City yesterday afternoon and I discovered Justin Taylor at the Meyer Art Gallery. I love his large scale work titled "The Middle of Things" and if I had an extra $15K it would be coming home with us! I love art that includes people. My husband loves art that is more abstract. Justin Taylor makes my kind of art.

According to my Internet research he is a young artist, which means it'll be fun to watch him for many more years.

Snow Showers

Yesterday it was raining on the mountain. I didn't last until lunch. My husband and his father lasted until three-ish. It's so odd to be on the mountain with precipitation falling from the sky that is not snow. I guess I'm a fair weather-skier, because I don't like to ski when it's foggy, rainy, windy...

Kitchen Window

This is the view from the condo's kitchen window. We are in a ski-in/ski-out complex. I'm going to go get ready for a day on the slopes...

Blackberry Jam!

The readers of this blog know I have an unhealthy relationship with jelly and jam. This morning I had toast with the best Blackberry jam I've ever tasted. It's delicious. It's going to be a great day!

Suspicious of the LDS

While I AM very excited about our upcoming ski vacation with my husband and his parents, I AM NOT excited about spending our gay bucks in "The Mormon State." Ever since I watched the documentary 8 The Mormon Proposition I am a little suspicious of the Mormon church.

According to Wikipedia the film "uncovers the classified church documents and the largely concealed money trail of Mormon contributions that paid for a high-powered campaign to pass Proposition 8", noting that "Mormons raised an estimated $22 million for the cause."

I AM okay with Mormons believing that being a homo is wrong; I AM NOT okay with Mormons trying to write their church beliefs into our laws. To balance out this situation I think I'll introduce my husband to as many Mormons as possible this weekend...

Me: "Hi, are you a Mormon?"
Mormon: "Yes."
Me: "Then I'd like you to meet my husband."

Three Day Week

We're cramming five days of work into three days this week, because we're spending the long weekend zooming down the ski slopes in Park City, Utah. If you recall from last year my husband has skied ever year of his life since he was three-years-old. After a 15-year pause I rebooted my skiing career last year, and I hope my legs remember how to get down the mountain. I'm actually a solid skier, but given my husband's passion for the sport I don't really have a choice.

Prince of Persia

Last night we watched Prince of Persia, and although it wasn't a humongous box office success according to Wikipedia it was a fun movie to watch at home. I'm a fan of Jake Gyllenhaal; he is a fun actor to watch. If you like action movies with a light love story, then you'll enjoy this film.

Paxten

My brother's dog, Cady, makes sure to clean up the food Paxten drops on the ground.

No Green.

You know it's going to be a tasty lunch when the only thing green on your plate is the garnish. My husband made smoked Gouda, hummus and avocado quesadillas for lunch today. It was served with chips and salsa! (Yoga is going to be so much fun later today.)

White People Convention

My mother accompanied my father to the Dallas Safari Club convention this weekend. My father needed a new pair of hunting boots, and apparently you get the best deals at these conventions? Prior to their entrance into the convention my mother told my father she'd give him $5 for every minority they saw. When they left the convention my mother owed my father $15.

I want to go and offer to give my father $1,000,000 for every homo at the convention....

Doting Father of One

We took the pooches on their first long walk together. I was surprised that Dooley was able to keep up with Trigger. My husband kept reminding me that Dooley was a dog because I kept picking her up to check her paw pads, and I kept worrying about if we were walking too far for her. My husband also laughed when I picked up Dooley and carried her on part of the walk.

It's in my DNA to be the doting father. I'd have hopelessly spoiled animals if my husband wasn't here to remind me to ease up and treat them like dogs. If I'm this way with our dogs, then how am I going to act around our future children?!

Nippy Weather

According to the weather forecast (and the nip in the air) it's going to get cold tonight in Dallas. My husband's mother (a master gardener) telephoned us to remind us to water our new crepe myrtle...

...which reminds me of a few of my mental deficiencies:

I've never understood the science that explains why watering plants before it gets cold helps them out. Similarly, I've never understood the science behind salt and the freezing temperature of water. However, I don't need to understand this science because I am not a scientist AND I am married to a man that understands how it all works.

No worries. My husband's mind stores scientific and mathematical information; whereas my mind stores fun facts about Oprah (her favorite color is green) and other nonsensical tidbits about our life together. It's a good combo.

I want to know...

...is it wrong that I got excited when I discover Mr. Excel on YouTube? I have been watching his Excel magic tricks ever since.

Vote Yes, Please

Go to the Economist website and join the debate: Should gay marriage be legal? (YES!)

Flight of the Navigator

Last night we watched an old movie from our childhood, Flight of the Navigator. I don't know if this movie has withstood the test of time, because today it comes across as a dated 1980's movie. It's not timeless, but for those of us who enjoyed it in our youth it was fun to revisit.

Two observations:

1) This movie was really a very simple adventure, but I remember it being amazing as a kid because it was about space and time travel.

2) Also, this movie had a very young Sarah Jessica Parker playing a supporting role. She would go on to become an A-list actor, but the main actor in this film never went on to do anything else really. When this movie was made the two of them seemed comparable as actors, but only one would become a super star.

Thank You 2011

Happy New Year!

The new year gives me a chance to reflect...

I maintain this blog because I want to prove to the world that my husband and I are really just like any other married couple. There is nothing mysterious or abnormal about our coupling; we're two individuals that love each other very much and are building a life together. I also maintain this blog because I want to prove we're just like any other couple BUT we don't have the same rights as other couples. I am as honest as possible with these posts, because I want to "pull back the curtain" on what it is like to be a gay couple living and working in Middle America.

I have very little patience for the little injustices in our society, and in my small way I want to shine the light on those little things that in aggregate make my life with my husband different from my brother's life with his wife. I always say I just want equal rights as my brother- nothing more.

But with the new year I want to say how grateful I am to be alive and living in 2011. I seriously doubt my husband and I could live the same life if we were living in the previous generation. Our world isn't perfect, but it's getting better each year. One day I hope to tell my children about the time when their fathers couldn't legally get married. In the same way mothers of the early part of last century told their daughters about the time when women couldn't vote. I hope my children can't believe that we were never allowed to get married the same way it's hard to believe that mixed race couples at one time couldn't legally marry in some states.

So, happy new year...I'm glad we have another year to improve our world...and make it a more perfect union...

Is NOT Sleeping

False alarm. I was excited when our baby girl slept through the night, see, but Dooley has slept through the night only once. She likes to wake us up at three o'clock in the morning because she needs to go outside. I'm glad she's waking us up; she's potty trained and she understands she needs to go outside to empty her bladder...but I miss my deep sleep cycle. Is this what it is like to have a human baby girl? I feel sorry for all working parents with babies that don't sleep through the night...

Lasagna

My husband went a little crazy in the kitchen last night. Look at this photo- we have enough lasagna for the next six months! He made 12 loaf pans and one 10x15 pan.

My husband makes the best lasagna. He makes his own meat sauce, but I think his secret ingredients are tomato pesto and fresh parsley. He adds tomato pesto to one of the layers which really kicks up the flavor, and he also adds a generous amount of diced fresh parsley to his ricotta cheese layer which really makes it seem fantastically fresh. Also, my husband doesn't hold back with the cheese, because cheese makes everything better, right? His lasagna is the best, and he likes to make loaf pans of lasagna for us to freeze. When we feel like lasagna we just pop one of the frozen loaf pans into the oven...and one hour later we're eating a great home cooked meal.

Goodbye Tahoe, Hello QX

With regards to the purchase of a new car the two-legged Sarah Dooley advised us to "go big or go home" in the comment section of this blog, and I can't wait to inform her that we took her advice.

On the last day of 2010 the husband and I purchased a 2011 Infiniti QX56. We traded in my husband's 9-year-old Chevy Tahoe for this phenomenal SUV. It is the first time I've owned a brand spanking new vehicle, which is thrilling. It's so thrilling that I insisted that we drive my 2004 4Runner to yoga today, because I didn't want our post-yoga sweaty bodies to touch my husband's new QX.

It's so thrilling to own a new car that today I also insisted that we take my 2004 4Runner to the grocery store, because I didn't want to mess up my husband's new QX. After we got back from the grocery store my husband informed me that we'd have to eventually drive his new car.

I just like to go out to the garage and look at it in all it's pristine newness. I can't believe we have such a badass car in our garage.

Happy New Year

Today is the first day of 2011. I enjoy the beginning of the new year. It's a chance to reboot your life.

Last night we rang in the new year with my parents and my brother and his family. We picked up a meal- no one wanted to cook- and after we put Presley and Paxten to bed we played a murder mystery game and then a round of Cranium and then several rounds of Password. We had a great New Year's Eve.

Happy New Year!

Worldly Friends

We had three worldly individuals sleeping under our roof on Thursday night. One of my college friends is a citizen of Poland, U.S.A, and Australia, and she brought along her friend that is a citizen of Poland and Canada. We all went to the airport to pick up their friend that is a citizen of Ireland.

One of the biggest benefits of college is the network of friends you make. I've never left North America, but we were hosting three lovely non-native individuals for one night. It was greatness.

The Irish woman, Mary, was very interested to explore our home and see how we lived. I was happy to be the representative gay couple living in Texas. My husband showed them a real Texas margarita, which was a big hit and they drank them all night long. Occasionally I feel like a foreigner in my own life since our society isn't always so welcoming of gays, but when we had a house full of foreigners I've never felt more at home...

Hooray: she made it all night

I would like it noted that on Wednesday, December 29, 2010 little Sarah Dooley slept all through the night without having to go outside to go potty. It was wonderful to get a full night sleep for the first time since Dooley joined our family. Our baby girl is growing up!