Relatively Rich

Today as I was walking through downtown I passed a parked Bentley Continental Supersports. I stopped to appreciate the automobile, because Bentley makes the most attractive two-door car. It's incredible. I enjoy the curves of that machine. There was a brief period in the late 1990's when I in my youth lusted after the Buick Riviera, but they haven't made a Riviera in over a decade, and I am no longer in my youth. My taste evolved.

Anyway, as I was walking through downtown and enjoying the weather and someone else's parked Bentley I thought: it must be nice to be rich. Flashback to last Saturday at the Texas State Fair, where I was setting off the metal detector wand; I informed the security guard (read: young man) that I had my iPhone in my pocket and it must be setting off the metal detector. He said to me; "You've got an iPhone? Man, you must be rich."

Happy Birthday Sis!

Saturday was my sister-in-law's birthday. A date we like to celebrate. In addition to being the sister I never had- she is my brother's greatest love, the mother of Presley, AND, big news, she is growing another baby in her belly. Hip, hip, hooray! My sister-in-law is the family's VIP.

As she wished, we celebrated the day of her birth at the Texas State Fair. It was corny-dogs, popcorn, and funnel cake celebration. The children's petting zoo was worth the price of admission because they had the usual barn animals mixed in with the exotics- zebras, giraffe, miniature Brahma cattle, and strange looking sheep with four horns; they also had goats giving birth and and sow with too many piglets fighting for a tit.

After the zoo, we tried without success at getting Presley to nap. She was pumped up from all the fair fun she could not and did not nap. The birthday girl took a nap. In the evening we met more friends at a delicious restaurant that was not crowded. We had a nice long dinner celebration without feeling rushed.

It was a very fun day. I am so glad we spent the day together.

When it's your time, it's your time.

I read in the Wise County Messenger about the late Tobi W. Moss Sr. who die in a series of unfortunate events- if ever there was a series of unfortunate events...it is so unbelievable that I read the short blurb multiple times...and I felt I needed to share.

Here's what happened:

• It was 4 o'clock in the morning
• Still dark outside
  
• He was driving his two-axel Peterbilt utility truck
• A black Angus cow was standing in the road
• It was dark; the cow was black, and standing in the road
  
• He hit the black Angus cow with his truck
  
• He drug the black Angus cow with his truck
• His truck side-skid along the road
  
• The truck rand off the road
• Hit a pecan tree
• The pecan tree fell onto the truck
• The pecan tree crushed the cab of his truck
• A second pecan tree fell onto the truck and pushed the truck down a gully
• The crushed truck landed in a muddy creek bed
• Mr. Moss Sr. did not survive these series of unfortunate events.
• He left behind a wife and four children
  

I love you, Dairy Queen!

I love Dairy Queen dipped cones. On Friday, I forced my colleagues to go eat a Dairy Queen for lunch. I always have to defend Dairy Queen. They suffer from an image problem because too many of their stores were not updated; my hometown used to call it "Dirty" Queen. Aside, from the fact that some of their stores are too old- they have really good food. Promise!

They have fresh brewed iced tea with the "Sonic" ice. Their burgers are good enough, their steak fingers are tasty too. I enjoy DQ french fries- they are second only to Jack in the Box curly french fries, but the item I enjoy the most is a classic Dairy Queen dipped cone.

What is better than soft served ice cream in a sugar cone dipped in chocolate?

I cannot find a Dairy Queen in Dallas. I called DQ franchise headquarters because I wanted to open a Dairy Queen in Dallas, but they said I'd need at least $700K in net assets before they'd talk to me. Oh. Uh. Well...thank you.

Owen at the Park

This is a photo of Owen- my husband's sister's baby boy- enjoying the neighborhood park. He is gorgeous. I love his near white hair, his blond skin, his smart eyes, and those cute little curls.

Both my brother and my husband's sister have beautiful children; sometimes I daydream about the impossible- what if we could have a baby genetically ours? (Yes, I feel like a silly 14-old girl when I daydream about making babies with my love, but just go with it...) If we could have a baby genetically ours, then what would they look like? Would they come out blond and blue eyed like my husband? Or would they have dark hair and hazel eyes like me? Would they enjoy math and science like my husband? Or would they be worthless and dyslexic like me? Ha. If I could pick- I'd want to have a little version of my husband in this world with a touch of me in the mix.

Dallas Pride

This past weekend was gay pride in Dallas. The husband and I celebrated by attending the Sordid Comedy Affair on Saturday night at the historic Majestic Theater. I got my picture taken with Caroline Rhea. She was extremely funny and very busty- I couldn't stop looking at her boobs- they sagged just enough to verify that were a real pair. Rue McClanahan (the friskiest Golden Girl) told three funny stories at the event, but the comedy genius of the night was Leslie Jordan- he slayed the audience like no one else.

On Sunday afternoon we went to the parade. I do enjoy a good parade. So we're standing along the road watching the floats and people in the parade, and an older man walks up to my husband and me and starts talking to us. I don't like to talk to people I don't know- stranger danger. I was giving him short answers and a forced smile. I then realize that the stranger was the mayor of Dallas. I didn't recognize him without his business suit. I thanked him for coming out to the festival and parade.

My Dirty Dancing Lessons

The death of Patrick Swayze this week made me think about his most loved movie, Dirty Dancing.

Do you remember the abortion sub-text in the film?

The first time I watched Dirty Dancing I was still in grade school and I didn't catch on to that part of the plot. I didn't even know enough to know I was missing something. The film was great and I would watch it on HBO, or rent it from the video store, and then, eventually, I bought my own VHS copy of the movie. Patrick Swayze with his “Nobody puts Baby in the corner” performance and Jennifer Grey with her “…I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you.” performance made it one of my favorites. Dirty Dancing is a classic film.

It wasn’t until I watched the movie for the 100th time when I was in high school that the abortion part of the film jumped out at me, and all the sudden it became a whole new film. How could something so familiar be so new? How could I have repeatedly missed this layer of the film? It was a startling realization, which turned it into a significant moment in my life. At that moment I learned a very valuable lesson about life, and I call it My Dirty Dancing Lesson.

My Dirty Dancing Lessons:

• Complete comprehension is not required for appreciation; we achieve appreciation and satisfaction based on our current level of comprehension
• It's fun to revisit that which is familiar in search of new discoveries

A Funeral Pact

Grab a Kleenex: UK man honors funeral pact with best friend. "Private Kevin Elliott and his friend, Barry Delaney, had agreed that whoever survived the other should wear a dress to the dead man’s funeral. Mr Delaney duly fulfilled the pledge as a tribute to Private Elliott, who was killed aged 24 while on foot patrol in the southern province of Helmand on August 31."

Beautiful Mutts

Here is a picture of Martha Fauker, Trigger Monkey, Beau Bear and Suzie-Q. They look like a group of aliens, right?

Willfully Ignorant

These photos are from here and you should take a peak. They were taking this weekend at the Tea Party's march on Washington D.C. The protesters' signs included (but are not limited to) themes of encouraging torture of Nancy Pelosi, threatening to use armed force against the U.S.A, making racist remarks, and making numerous other inappropriate statements; such as, comparing President Obama to Adolf Hitler, Osama bin Laden, Fidel Castro, and Joseph Stalin. Also, I'm sad to say that it looked like the crowd was all white and they also had the infamous rebel battle flag, which was NOT the flag of the Confederate States of America. What were they trying to accomplish with all this hate?

How do you debate people who are so willfully ignorant?

Homos in Heaven?

These billboards have appeared around Dallas; I almost had a wreck on I-30 when I first discovered the billboard. They are sponsored by a group of local churches. Click Here to learn more about the ad campaign. Is this blasphemy? I was taught that God is love, but it's an abomination for two men to love each other; God loves everyone but homos was my Sunday school takeaway.

We're homos. We're already planning on going to hell. In fact, as soon as we get to hell all the homos are supposed to head west where we'll have one (hot) kick-ass party. I've always said that if hell exist, then wouldn't that be more fun than heaven?

Also, I just read this essay Man vs. God in the WSJ. It's a very interesting read. I enjoy intelligent discussions. It expands my mind. Read it.

12/7/41 & 9/11/01

I always have the same feeling on September 11. It's similar to what I felt when we visited Pearl Harbor this summer. It's sad to think about Americans getting attacked as they went through the routine of their day. Think about the horror.

It could have been any Sunday. It was Sunday, December 7, 1941 when the men and women of Pearl Harbor were going through their Sunday morning routine. Maybe they were sleeping late? Maybe they were nursing a Saturday night hang-over? Maybe they were getting ready for church? They were just living life, and then they were attacked. Many were killed.

It could have been any Tuesday. It was Tuesday, September 11, 2001 when the men and women of New York, Washing D.C. and the United Airlines flight 93 were going through their Tuesday routine. Maybe they were getting in early to work? Maybe they were in route to a business meeting? Maybe they were headed to a vacation? They were just living life, and then they were attacked. Many were killed.

Sometimes when I'm going through a normal routine I stop and think about the men and women that were doing their routine in 1941 and in 2001 and were attacked and killed. It helps me appreciate each part of my life. Even the routine parts of my life.

Funny Email Forward

Staph

"You must come to terms with the fact that you will out live this dog."

That's what my regular vet told me when I told her I was having a hard time with the fact that Martha Fauker is now a 12-year-old French Bulldog.

We took Martha Fauker to a special vet on Saturday because of our inability to cure her inflamed skin. The vet cultured her skin and determined that she has staphylococcus dermatitis a.k.a. a staph infection. Apparently, staph is a normal resident of the skin of animals and humans; however, it is considered an opportunist. As long as the skin is healthy- staph is dormant- but once the skin is irritated staph can invade the area. Her age makes it more difficult for her skin to remain clear. So it looks like we'll start a "pulse" treatment of antibiotics for the rest of her life to keep her skin clear.

No worries Martha Fauker is not contagious to humans or other pets.

Dog adopts a pig

In the animal world, a Rhodesian Ridgeback adopts an abandoned piglet, click here, and this will make you smile.

In the human world, let's not forget that last fall voters in Arkansas overwhelmingly supported a measure that effectively banned gay and lesbian couples from adopting children or being foster parents.

Visa Black Card - WTF?!

I'm so lucky. I received in the mail a fancy wedding invitation- or what I thought was a wedding invitation- it was actually an invitation from Visa to apply for their "exclusive" Visa Black Card. The card is limited to only 1% of the U.S. residents and comes with a 24-hour concierge assistant, exclusive rewards program, and luxury gifts...oh, and the annual fee is $495 for the primary card holder and $195 for each additional card tied to the primary account. Wow, I'm so lucky. I've been invited to pay Visa almost $700 a year for two credit cards. Lucky me. This must be what it's like to win the lottery? I'm going to trade in my current master cards with a $50 annual fee for two Visas with a $700 annual fee. Score.

Car Lust

It's a good thing that I'm a happily married man, because if I was single I might consider living out of my car so I could afford the payments on the new Audi S5. Have you seen this car? I love everything about it.

Lake Weekend

We spent the weekend with 6 friends at my husband's parents' lake house. We sailed, jet skied, hung out on the pontoon boat and floated on the water with drink of choice in hand. On land we grilled and sat out on the back deck of their home, which over looks a grove of trees and the lake. It was a great time. The weather in Texas was beautiful this weekend, and the clouds were especially lovely at the lake. It's nice to have married a man whose parents have a lake house with lake toys AND they encourage us to keep coming back!