Come back Carolina!

Our friend and house keeper, Carolina, has taken the summer off.

To truly understand the hardship we face without her for the entire summer let me tell you about the woman that has ruled over our house. Almost four years ago, right after we bought our first home which was a 1600 sq foot 1926 craftsman bungalow , we realized that after working all week it wasn’t fun spending Saturday mornings (1/4 of our waking weekends!) chasing dust bunnies, sucking rugs, folding clothes and cleaning toilets. I can only relax in a tidy clean home, and since my husband travels most weeks with work, the weekends are our sacred time together. Not to mention when we first moved in together my husband thought his mother would magically appear (just as she had done his whole life) and clean and cook and take care of his messes; I had to sit him down and explain to him that I am his husband not his mother.

Carolina entered our life and saved the day! At first we confused her, she asked which bedroom was mine and which bedroom was my husbands, but once I placed our wedding photos strategically around the house she no longer put our clean clothes in the guest bedroom. She was confused no more. We gave her a key to the house. We upgraded houses and she was cleaning as we were unpacking boxes. And after she told us she was going to divorce her husband because after 10 years and three kids he still wouldn’t divorce his first wife and marry her (another story, another day) we asked her to start coming once a week. Even though our house isn’t that dirty; she always finds things to do. She organizes our underwear drawers; she cleans and rearranges our refrigerator, and in fact she has no problem organizing everything in the house- she isn’t shy- once she told me that she feels like our house is her house. Having Carolina come once a week is addicting. We live in a perpetually tidy, clean and organized home. It’s heaven.

We think she adores our dogs, she calls Martha Fauker “Martita” and she calls Trigger “Treasure”, more than she adores us. She brings our dogs treats and Halloween costumes.

So in June, Carolina dropped the bomb that she wanted to take the summer off. She doesn’t have another job- but she’ll be staying with family and spending time with her kids who are out of school.

We could get temporary help, but Carolina rules our house and that would be like cheating on her. At first I wasn’t going to clean anything all summer long so that I could proudly show her our dirty house when she returned- as if to prove that we needed her. I couldn’t hold out- so we’re back to spending ¼ of our waking weekends cleaning house and counting the days until Carolina returns.

Favorite Carnival Rides

My favorite carnival rides:

1. The Tilt-A-Whirl
2. The Octopus
3. The Scrambler

I think I was a teenager the last time I rode any of these rides, but they brought me so much joy and excitement as a child I still get excited when I see one today!

Carnival Fun

We spent the weekend at my parents house, because it was my home town's annual reunion. The people of my town have been getting together the last full week in July since the late 1800's. The tradition continues! I always enjoying spending time with family and friends.

At one point, we (the gay guys) were walking down the main street with our friends (the interracial couple) and their beautiful baby girl. We thought it was funny. We claimed to be the real circus to the festival. The truth is that when my husband and I first attended the reunion as an out couple we felt the eyes watching us all night, however, five years later it has become no big deal at all...my home town is full of good people.

My husband rode the "Kamikaze" with a group of our friends. I did not. Call me conservative, but as a matter of self preservation, I will NOT ride in anything that is called a kamikaze and I do NOT ride anything that can shoot you thirty feet up the air for two minutes non-stop and also be disassembled and loaded onto a trailer and moved to the next town within a few hours. That just ain't right. I do, however, adore my thrill-seeking man.

Shelter

I am a fan of Netflix. Anytime I hear/read/see someone recommending a movie I throw it in our queue, and eventually my selection makes its way to the top of my list. I don't remember how or when the film Shelter (2007) was added to our queue, but a few months ago it arrived in the mail...

You have to see Shelter. It's an independent film, which means the pacing is a little slow in parts, and it has a few tired cliches (throwing a Frisbee on the beach, I mean really?!) parts, and I can spot at least two bad acting jobs, but overall this is a very sweet and touching film. I've watched it twice and I appreciated it more the second time.

I really felt connected to the two lead characters, and by the end of the film I want them to live happily ever after. Trevor Wright (who's straight in real life!) plays a confused gay guy trying to be the one stable person in his nephew's dysfunctional and chaotic life. He is trying to live the life he thinks he should live instead of the life he wants to live. He is poor. He works two jobs. He has a girlfriend. He takes care of his nephew, his sister, and his dad. His best friend (who's a rich straight kid) has an older (and already out) gay brother. Trevor's character meets the brother and they fall in love, but of course there's internal and external conflicts to keep it interesting.

This is one of the best gay films I've seen in a long time. Go add it to your Netflix queue right now!

July Blooms

My husband's mother gathered these flowers from her garden especially for us. It's impressive to have beautiful flowers growing in Texas in July. Thank you PLW!

Vanity Fair Fun

The Vanity Fair literary editors, copy editors, and research department worked over Sarah Palin's resignation speech and the results are hilarious to read: Palin's Resignation: The Edited Version

Jet Lag

We're back from Hawaii, and we're tired. It was a fantastic trip. I think everyone should make it a priority to get on the Big Island of Hawaii at least once in their life. It has 11 different climates zones- from desert to rain forest. It's beautiful.

Here are a few of the highlights:

• A night time snorkel in the sea with 20+ manta rays
• A helicopter tour of the whole island
• Snorkeling in Cook's cove
• Watching lava flow into the ocean
• Seeing wild sea turtles basking in the sun
• Hiking through the volcano national park
• Flying first class both ways (we used our airline miles)
  
• Spending 24/7 with my husband

I'm going to bed early tonight.

True Blood

I am a little late to the party; True Blood is already a big hit. At the insistence of our good friends Jim & Donna we added season one of HBO's True Blood to our Netflix queue and downloaded it to our iPhones. On the plane yesterday I watched most of the first season; my husband finished the first season before our plane took off.

This is the best television show I've seen in a long time. From the first episode you're hooked. It's so edgy, and since it's HBO it has everything: sex (straight, gay, vampire), drugs ("V"), history (Civil War flash backs), action (fights, murders), laughs (it's very well written), and my favorite part is the love story between a beautiful "normal" girl and her vampire that's trying to go mainstream. This show is using vampires to represent the discriminated portion of society, and since the Japanese have invented synthetic blood some (not all) vampires are trying to emerge from the shadows of society because they don't have to kill people- they can drink the fake blood. However, there is conflict because some vampires still like real human blood,and non-vampires have discovered that real vampire blood "V" is a great recreational drug. This small town treats vampires like Texas treats gay people, which is why I really love this show. You'll love it too. Go watch it! We are ordering HBO when we get home so we can catch season two.

The BEST part of vacation!

We're about to head to the airport, and like my mom used to always tell me as a kid: The best part of a vacation is the first moment of the vacation because it's all in front of you.

One week of Hawaii is all in front of us. Woo Hoo! I'm so excited. I get to hang out with my husband 24/7 for the next nine days, which is a treat unto itself AND we'll be in Hawaii for that time together. It's like ice cream and cake- two great things happening together. Life is good.

"The Lady or the Tiger?"

My mother was my 7th grade reading teacher and two short stories I still think about reading (15+ years later) in her class is The Necklace and The Lady, or the Tiger?

The Lady, or the Tiger? is the short story I think about most often; I love the mental exercise of thinking about the possibility of there being a lady or a tiger behind the door the princess indicated her lover should pick. If she sends him to the door of the tiger he'll be killed by the tiger. If she sends him to the door of the lady he'll be required to marry the lady- someone the princess does not like. If you're the guy do you pick the door the princess tells you to pick, or do you pick the opposite door?

It's an unsolvable problem. I, however, like to think she tells him to pick the door with the lady, and he picks that door...and they live happily ever after...

SPF 1-week, please

I only have two colors: red and white (not counting black and blue when my husband beats me. (Ha! I kid; that's just a little domestic violence humor. What?)

We're headed to the Big Island of Hawaii and I really don't know how many bottles of sunscreen I should pack. Since it's an island I'm sure they'll put a high premium on the price of sunscreen if we have to purchase it there- so I'm packing sunscreen. I'm thinking one bottle for every two days? Or should I pack one bottle for every day? I picked up SPF 70 Sunscreen at Target. I can't wait for SPF 1-week to be invented..so I won't have to waste so much of my luggage real estate with bottles of this glorious stuff.

Mark forgot about Jesus?!

Did you read the news yesterday about the British government putting the Codex Sinaiticus, the world's oldest Bible online?

"Codex Sinaiticus is one of the most important books in the world. Handwritten well over 1600 years ago, the manuscript contains the Christian Bible in Greek, including the oldest complete copy of the New Testament. Its heavily corrected text is of outstanding importance for the history of the Bible and the manuscript – the oldest substantial book to survive Antiquity – is of supreme importance for the history of the book."

Why wasn't this a bigger news story? I've been looking at the pages online and it's very interesting and makes me wish I read Greek.

According to Wikipedia, in this Bible the book of Mark does not include the passages about Jesus' resurrection?! In fact, the phrase "Son of God" is not included in Mark?! I am so confused. Why are we not talking about this? I guess I'll have to wait for the English translation before I can confirm these findings, but what does that mean? Why did Mark forget about Jesus?

Who's a pretty pretty princess?

This is our daughter, Martha Fauker, looking all beautiful and relaxed on the couch.

She will be spending the next ten days with Poppy and GrandSue enjoying their super cold air conditioning, while our son Trigger Monkey will be staying with Poppy and YaYa causing trouble around their lake.

Open Letter

Dear Larry McMurtry,

I would really like to read Lonesome Dove, and by "read" I mean listen to this 1986 Pulitzer Prize winner on my iPhone. Can you please get the unabridged recording onto iTunes for me to purchase before our 8-hour flight on Saturday?

Sincerely,

Me

I Got My Teeth Did

I'm so excited. In approximately 22 weeks I'm going to have teeth as straight and as beautiful at my husband's. I might even be skinner in 22 weeks, because my doctor wants me to try and keep the trays in my mouth 23 hours a day. Uh, I eat and drink more than an hour a day?! When my trays are in my mouth I can only drink water. My teeth HURT, but that just means the trays are working, right? I'm so excited. I've always wanted really straight teeth. OMG, my teeth are sore.

P.S. Kelly says my teeth hurt because I'm moving BONE.

Michael Jackson 1984

If you've reached Michael Jackson saturation, then forgive me, but for the past week I have been sad about Michael Jackson's death. I really wanted him to come back with his "This Is It" tour because he was a genius music man/artist/dancer with a screwed up life, and I wanted him to remind me of his greatness with this new tour.

In July 1984, I was almost four and my brother was already five, my music loving mother and father took us to see The Jacksons' Victory Tour at Texas Stadium in Dallas Texas. My parents wanted to expose us to their greatness. My mother recalls that she had to mail-in ticket requests with a check, and then she waited to receive either tickets to one of his Dallas shows or if they were sold-out she would get her check back. Lucky for us, we received in the mail four tickets on the fourth row!!

When we got to the show we ran into people from our same small town and county on the first few rows of the show, and later we learned that they gave the closest seats to rural zip codes because people from small towns were less likely to be scalpers. I still have glimpses in my mind of his red jacket, his unbelievable dance moves, his Fedora hat, and his sparkling glove- I was so impressionable at almost four years old and looking up from the fourth row.

My strongest memory from the night was when one of the Jackson brothers ripped off Michael's white t-shirt with fringe at the bottom (this was 1984) and tossed it into the crowd. My mother was holding me and standing on her chair, and my father was holding my brother; my parents dropped both of us as they leaped up and grabbed the t-shirt. Two guys behind my father also had their hands on the t-shirt and they would not release their grip. I was crying on the floor. My brother was crying on the floor. My father was fighting for the Michael Jackson t-shirt. Finally my mother picked us up, and my father decided that the only solution was to split the t-shirt with the guys.

The front half of the shirt was our souvenir and it dried stiff as a board; for years I had that t-shirt and our concert tickets proudly displayed on my bedroom wall.

I love that memory. I am so glad my parents too us to that concert and gave us that experience.