In search of peace.

My Uncle's first significant boyfriend was Kendall. We enjoyed him so much and we called him "Aunt Kendall" as a term of endearment and to prove that we claimed him as ours. After a few years my Uncle and Aunt Kendall decided that they were better as friends than as partners. Both my Uncle and Aunt Kendall moved on and found new love, but they remained close friends. (They lived in the same neighborhood.) We remained connected to Aunt Kendall too. We would take a couples trip to L.A. every June with my Uncle & Tom, Aunt Kendall & his boyfriend to visit Del & Jason and all our other L.A. friends. This was the first year in many that we did not have a June L.A. couples trip planned.

Last month Aunt Kendall sent me an email and it said, simply: "Reminder that Aunt Kendall loves and misses you."

On Friday, Aunt Kendall hung himself with his belt in his bedroom closet. He did not leave a note.

I haven't be able to process this event fully. I am in shock. I am confused. I am sad. It is hard to accept that my worldly relationship with Aunt Kendall has ended. I won't see him any more. I won't get to hang out with him again. I won't get to hear his stories told in his Mississippi accent again. He is gone. Aunt Kendall is gone, and he left behind all his friends and family that loved him so much.

Reminder that we love and miss you too Aunt Kendall.